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Biting the Medication Bullet

It’s come to my realization that I’m a “now” kind of Veruca Salt-like person with some weighty patience issues.  I want everything fixed NOW!  I want my house clean now, my new curtains made now, my dining room carpet ripped up now, and weight loss now.

And I want my child to pack his own backpack now, make eye contact with adults now, finish his homework legibly now, and gracefully lose a soccer game now.

NOW!


God, however, is not a “now” kind of person.  His timing is always perfect, but it’s rarely the timing I would choose at the time I’m assessing the timing.

(How many people have I lost at this point?)

I have been fiddling around with our gluten-free/casein-free/egg-free pancake recipe lately, and have found it hard to attain a lovely golden brown color on the outside while at the same time rendering the inside reasonably fluffy.  When I turn the burner on “high,” I get a perfect pancake center with dark, charred-like outside edges.

Yet when I turn down the heat to try a more moderate approach, the pancakes look lovely and golden on the outside, but are runny-raw on the inside.

(At one point my children actually asked me if the liquid part was some kind of “pudding filling.”  That just proves how much I have snowed them regarding my own cooking abilities because anyone who knows me remotely well knows I would never be able to carry off such a complicated culinary feat as a “pudding filling.”)

The other day, however, I was attempting to multi-task and craft pancakes at the same time, which only resulted in an equal amount of black-lace pancakes and raw dough ones.  I finally turned off the burner and walked away in disgust, leaving the last pancake to languish in the pan.

When I returned, however, lo and behold I found the most perfectly browned, delicately cooked pancake!

OK, obviously many lessons can be learned here.  When I leave things alone, quit pushing, and stop trying to control everything I slide over and let God take the driver’s seat.

Below you will find a list of most of the supplements, treatments, tinctures, educational options that we have tried over the years with our sweet Edward.  I must confess, that before I started each one of them, I fully believed that this treatment would be the one to help us round the curve, crest the hill, truly make a “night and day” difference.

NOW!

I would hold dear all the conversations I’d had in waiting rooms with other mothers who “ooowed and awwwed” over this therapy or that intervention that caused their child to finally be verbal, or, gasp, even lose their diagnosis.

Here’s our list:

*Floortime * Homeschooling * Tutoring * Kumon *EMDR * Music Therapy* BrightSpark* Focus Formula* Attend* Memorin* GF/CF Diet * Feingold Diet* The Listening Program * TOMATIS * Interactive Metronome Therapy*  Chiropractic * Defeat Autism Now Protocol (DAN) * Occupational Therapy * Physical Therapy * Social Skills Groups & Camps *  “How Does Your Engine Run?” Program * Joint Compression *Brushing Therapy * Hippotherapy * Homeopathic Attention Aids *Social Skills Camp *Private School *Public School *Part-time Public School *Swimming *Soccer *Gymnastics *T-Ball *Superflex Social Skills *Model Me Social Skills *

Now I can add *Stimulant and Non-Stimulant Medications* to that list.  Yes, I have freaked out for years in fear of all things pharmaceutical for my child.  We tried mild stimulants off and on a few times last year with no results, other than 48 hours of wakefulness and lots of stimming and perseveration.

After meeting several times with a new psychiatrist, we have decided to try a different medication that, guess what, takes a rather long time to potentially work.  The irony of this is certainly not lost on me.

Am I saying that my child is a slow-cook pancake?

Maybe.

Am I saying that God is teaching me to be more of a slow-cook pancake type of person?

Definitely.

Posted on 22 August '10 by , under Autism Spectrum/Sensory Processing.

10 Comments to “Biting the Medication Bullet”

#1 Posted by Tonggu Momma (22.08.10 at 20:20 )

Loved this! And yeah, I can so relate to this one, especially during our first two years with the Tongginator. I was all about fix! fix! fix! and less about giving it time and patience. Well, it took all of those… work AND time AND patience. Thanks for this devotional reminder.

#2 Posted by Carla (22.08.10 at 20:48 )

wondering if it is the med we’ve been trying with Clone1…which I’m finally throwing in the towel and requesting a med change to try. LOL I’m at the point with that med that I’d rather deal with the issues NOT on medications than deal with the issues of trying to take it regularly and the side effects from said medication when it’s not taken regularly enough…blech.

and yes, I’m a “NOW DARN IT!” kind of person too.
.-= Carla´s last blog ..Today I am thankful for… =-.

#3 Posted by Tari (22.08.10 at 20:49 )

Oh Veruca – I have so much in common with her, too!

And one of the worst things about being Veruca? I miss so much, because I’m looking forward to the “NOW” when things will be as I want them to be. I miss the blessings, the lessons, all of it – because (if I see them at all) I’m pushing them all away and yelling “no, not that – over there, that’s what I want – NOW!”

Thanks for reminding me to go find my patience.
.-= Tari´s last blog ..After the Funeral =-.

#4 Posted by Trish (22.08.10 at 21:27 )

Oh, the part about the pudding filling is priceless!

It’s such a push/pull to figure out what to go after and what to give up. And I think they react to our stress levels as well, so there’s another thing to throw in the mix.

Wishing you all the best, as you know! We continue to wait and see on the medication front, hoping to get through another school year without it but open to the possibility if necessary.
.-= Trish´s last blog ..Sunday Best- August 22nd =-.

#5 Posted by Laura (22.08.10 at 22:30 )

I can relate to all of this, having tried almost everything on your list for my Coleman as well. Good luck with the meds. We’ve had success with the meds we’ve used for the specific things they treat, but we still have a LONG way to go.

Wishing you the best!

#6 Posted by Mary (22.08.10 at 23:40 )

I can’t exactl relate but I do understand how difficult it is to wait for God’s work to show us the way. I struggle often with this lesson. I’ll add prayers of patience for us moms to my prayer list.

#7 Posted by mrsbear (23.08.10 at 10:16 )

It’s hard to watch your kid struggle. I think everyone wants instant results, even with something as simple as antibiotics when they’re ill. I hope this does the trick and that you finally get that pancake you’re looking for, if not you just have to keep fiddling with the batter till you get what you’re looking for.

Pancake analogies are kind of making me hungry though. :)
.-= mrsbear´s last blog ..Now That Doesn’t Look Awful- Does It =-.

#8 Posted by Elizabeth (23.08.10 at 15:52 )

I love that “fiddling with the batter” comparison, MrsBear!

#9 Posted by Patty (23.08.10 at 21:59 )

I can so totally relate to this post. That is actually partly why I picked the name I did for my blog. The harder I try, it seems like the more I screw up pancakes, and I happen to be a somewhat decent cook.

Anyway, I know what you mean about all the therapies. We have tried many of those and our OT now wants us to start on Integrated Listening Systems and neurofeedback. We’ll see. I would love to find some cure-all that works immediately. I am just an impatient girl, but I guess you are right about God’s timing. It’s really hard to admit sometimes, but I suppose His timing is perfect…..

That doesn’t stop me from giving God lots of advice, though and pleas for Him to hurry up, already!
.-= Patty´s last blog ..Balloon Fest =-.

#10 Posted by Three Channels » Imagine The Moments Ahead (02.09.10 at 22:37 )

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