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Blistering Beetle Juice

Yesterday we had a 9:45 appointment at the dermatologist–oh the joy!  Remember last time?

A similar “dermatology TV show” was playing, only this time the topic was acne.  The waiting room was packed with mostly elderly folks.

Here’s a small sampling from Edward:  “What is a period?  Is it the same as the one at the end of a sentence?  It makes no sense that a period would cause you to have these bumps on your face…are these bumps the ‘acne?’  Do you have acne, Mom?  Do you think I ever will?  Tell me about this menopause…what is that?”  A sweet older lady sitting close by chuckles and looks at me expectingly.

I sort of squirm in my seat, and slowly reply,”Well, it’s a sort of change in a person’s life…a change in the body.”

Edward is clearly unsatisfied with the vague nature of my response: “What kind of change?  Whose body is changing?  Why does menopause give a person acne?”

Lucky for me the “dermatology TV” switches at this point to a game-show type quiz.  Edward begins playing this with a man sitting close by.  The question is, “Which item is not required to be listed on food packaging ingredients?  Fiber, Artificial Flavors, Artificial Colors or Caffeine.”

The patient man and I both call out “fiber!”  Edward, however, shakes his head at us.  “It’s caffeine, people!  Caffeine is the answer!”  The man and I exchange doubtful looks.  And then the answer shines forth: “See!  It’s caffeine.  I told you!” Edward chortles gleefully.  The man addresses Edward, “Boy, I need to take you to Vegas.  You’ve got winning in ya!”

Yes, Vegas!  What a perfect place for Edward!

At this point, he’s finished with “dermatology TV” and rushes up to the receptionist before I can really grab him, and asks, “What does ‘D’ mean in Roman numerals?  My mommy doesn’t know…”  Lucky for us, our name is now called and we rush to the back, Edward rumbling on about what “X” and “L” and “V” mean as I encourage him down the hall.

Joseph has a few small warts on his knee, and we are here to have those removed.  Our doctor, who is also a personal friend, tells Joseph he can choose between the painful “freezing” or something called “blistering beetle juice,” guaranteed to be pain-free.

Naturally he chooses the “beetle juice,” and Edward perks up from his Diji hand-held game at the mention of “beetle.”  Thankfully, it’s a fast-application and we’re out in the waiting room before we can blink an eye, the beetle juice topic well at hand.  “Do you think that lady is going to have the beetle juice put on her hand?  What about that man over there?  Will he need beetle juice or something for his acne…”

And with that, we are out the door, into the sunshine, shuffled in the van.  I put them both in the van and close the door, lingering a few moments to enjoy the sunshine and brief parking lot solitude.

Just in case you are curious, here’s the beetle:


Thanks to Austin and Elise who had the photo!

In another odd twist, this beetle is also the source for “Spanish Fly!”

Wonders never cease…

Posted on 17 April '09 by , under Humor/Disconnected Miscellany.

18 Comments to “Blistering Beetle Juice”

#1 Posted by JoyMama (17.04.09 at 12:51 )

Edward in Vegas — the mind boggles! 🙂

I’ve had the Beetle Juice treatment too — I’m sure it won’t hurt for a couple of little knee warts, but let me tell ya, it’s a bee-yotch when you’re deliberately creating blisters under great big plantar warts on the sole of your foot. And then walking on them. Ow ow ow.

Did I really need to know that tidbit about Spanish fly? LOL

JoyMamas last blog post..Stacked

#2 Posted by Helene (17.04.09 at 21:54 )

Wow, that Edward sure keeps everyone on their toes, doesn’t he? I love that he’s such a deep thinker and that he’s so curious about life. My kids just wanna know why farts smell….yeah, that’s real brilliance for ya, right?

Helenes last blog post..Courageous or glutton for punishment?

#3 Posted by mrsbear (17.04.09 at 23:30 )

Of course it was caffeine! What were you guys thinking? 😉

I thought when you said beetle juice, it was just a clever name to ease fearful children. Who knew it came from actual beetles? Way more fascinating than menopause…

The boy of yours! He really livens up a waiting room!

Also, I’ve switched my blog, if you’d care to update your links. I’d appreciate it. Have a great weekend.

#4 Posted by Patty (18.04.09 at 12:43 )

There’s never a dull moment with Edward around, is there? I so love how his mind works, though I am grateful I’m not the one who has to answer his questions. He is just way too smart for me.

Pattys last blog post..IEPs, Domain Meetings and Oreos

#5 Posted by kim (18.04.09 at 23:02 )

Oh what is a period? Is it the thing at the end of a sentence! – LOL
Oh that just got me
and then the menopause question – too funny!
and what a great description of the wart cream “beetle juice” – LOVE IT
Oh and the D in Roman Numerals (just so you know) is 500 😉
Love you

#6 Posted by Peanut (20.04.09 at 00:31 )

Ahhh, I needed a good laugh! Thanks Edward 🙂

(Although I must admit that I am shaking in my booties about how many of these kinds of conversations are waiting for me in my future!)

Peanuts last blog post..On blending in and having a three-year-old

#7 Posted by Kia (Good Enough Mama) (20.04.09 at 20:07 )

I love Edward. No, really. I do. He’s awesome! Can I have him? Please? Come on. You have a few other kids, don’t you? You won’t miss him. Much. Ok, you will. But be a good friend anyway. 🙂

#8 Posted by astarte (23.04.09 at 08:47 )

hahahahaha!!!!!! Of COURSE it was that topic! What ELSE would you possibly want to discuss in a waiting room full of people?!

Glad the warts will be gone. Josie had the freezing method, because they didn’t offer the blistering one, but hers were on her feet, so maybe that’s why they didn’t say anything about it.

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