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Monday Mumbers

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Chickie Kia created this graphical wonder.  Edward Tufte, beware!  Apparently one is supposed to link numbers to life events.  Sounds manageable, right?  Do join Kia in this endeavor if you dare!

1 = Number of toes I broke today running from the shower into the kitchen and tripping over a mangled ‘youth’ guitar after hearing a ‘sonic boom’ type sound and fearing errant nuclear wrath.  It was only the aftermath of a local air show.

13 = Loads of laundry I have done today in the wake of puppy pee towels and baseball clothing.

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6 = Number of ‘swear words’ I have had to explain to my 9-year-old since baseball season began.  “Mama, there’s a ‘D-word’ that’s really, really bad and it’s not the one that comes from the Bible.  I believe it rhymes with ‘sick.’  What’s that word mean?”

4 = Times I’ve had to explain to Edward why we don’t have an “Alice” who lives with us and does all our cooking and cleaning.  (I borrowed a Brady Bunch compilation CD from our local library and now have a 7-year-old regularly using words like “groovy,” “heavy,” and “right on, man!”  Today he told me, “You’re kind of like Carol Brady but also a lot like Alice except you’re not quite that old and don’t have your own room.” )

brady-bunch

6 = Number of children at my house Thursday morning through lunch.  One of the three-year-olds stomped barefooted all over Joseph’s pastel masterpiece and tramped footprints all over my semi-clean rug and couch.  She then rubbed brownish organic diaper cream all over a borrowed smocked dress.  (Sorry Ashley!)  My daughter and her friend decided the best use of their time, (while I was discussing our wretched Internet connectivity with the cable man), would be to don Easter dresses, whip out the hose and play in the muddy back yard with the puppy whom they then let in the house.

8 =  Number of poultices and tinctures I’ve concocted in an attempt to rid the smocked dress of the organic diaper cream.

3 = Number of stains that remain.

2 = Pounds I have lost in the past 10 days using these wretched “Lean Shakes” that are guaranteed to shed 7 lbs per week.  I’ve found no conceivable way to mix the powder into milk since Joseph accidentally shattered my blender.  The crunchy, chalky, milky substance renders me slightly nauseous.  Perhaps that’s the weight-loss raison d’etre?

170 = Number of times I’ve prayed Psalm 91:11 over my energetic, accident-prone Edward.

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700 =  Number of times God has protected this wreckless creature from certain peril!

He will command his angels concerning you, and they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.  Ps. 91:11

Happy Monday!

Posted on 23 March '09 by , under Humor/Disconnected Miscellany.

12 Comments to “Monday Mumbers”

#1 Posted by kia (good enough mama) (23.03.09 at 08:27 )

What a handsome ball player you have there! If I were 30 years younger, I’d totally have a crush on him….

I’m with Edward. I want an Alice.

#2 Posted by kim (23.03.09 at 09:38 )

LOL – gracious me!
That has been a crazy few days!
BTW have you tried Spot Shot on the stains?
it is carpet cleaner but you can use it on clothes – it works wonders!!
See you this afternoon!
Love ya
Kim

kims last blog post..Mothers

#3 Posted by Monday Mumbers « Good Enough Mama (23.03.09 at 13:31 )

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#4 Posted by JoyMama (23.03.09 at 13:46 )

Oh, seven pounds a week would be downright unhealthy. Two is just about right. Well done!

Sorry ’bout the toe, though. And the diaper cream! If you got an Alice, do you think she could take over explaining the baseball-words?

JoyMamas last blog post..The Eyes Have It

#5 Posted by Mary (23.03.09 at 14:21 )

Wow you have had a busy time. I want an Alice too. It would be totally groovy to have someone cook for me everyday and pick up the dirty socks that my 6 year old seems incapable of either leaving on his stinky feet or putting in the laundry.

Marys last blog post..Box Boy

#6 Posted by Andrea's Sweet Life (23.03.09 at 15:44 )

My daughter smeared the brown, organic diaper cream all over her bedding and I haven’t found anything YET to get it off. Be sure and let us know when you’ve found the cure, m’kay Alice?

Andrea’s Sweet Lifes last blog post..Mumbly Monday Mumbers, or Something Like That

#7 Posted by Helene (23.03.09 at 15:55 )

Oh my goodness….you have had one heck of a time these last few days!!! I love the Alice comment from your son…kids and their honesty, even when it’s to their own detriment!

Not sure what to say about the diaper cream mess…that would’ve left me in tears for at least 8 hours.

Helenes last blog post..In my own little perfect world…

#8 Posted by Tari (23.03.09 at 18:44 )

Oh my goodness that was so funny! I have to do that too (although mine won’t be 1/2 as good).

Is the diaper cream greasy? If so, have you used regular old dish soap as a spot remover? I take it a bleach pen is out of the question?

Baseball is SO educational! 😉

Taris last blog post..Where Does it Come From?

#9 Posted by astarte (24.03.09 at 09:22 )

Holy crap, what’s that he’s hanging from?! It looks like some kind of castle turret!!!

Good luck with that diaper cream. That stuff NEVER comes out. That, and toothpaste, which I don’t understand, because that’s SOAP! Well, sort of.

#10 Posted by mrsbear (24.03.09 at 20:41 )

That lean shake sounds dreadful.

I used to love The Brady Bunch, nothing wrong with using words like groovy and heavy, I still do. Lucky Alice, I would kill for my own room, better yet, some quiet bathroom time.

Edward is quite the daredevil, that bungee thing looks like my kind of ride.

mrsbears last blog post..Cloudy Days and Random Tuesday Thoughts

#11 Posted by Patty (25.03.09 at 10:03 )

Wowsers! What a week! I wonder if oxiclean would get the stains out. It worked on some stains in my carpet and you can use it on laundry. It’s worth a try….

Pattys last blog post..Monday Mumbers

#12 Posted by Elizabeth (28.03.09 at 13:23 )

I got the organic diaper cream out of the dress today! I made a poultice of Oxyclean, Spray ‘N Wash and Super Washing Powder. It’s all gone! It’s a laundry miracle!








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