Hello and welcome to ThreeChannels.

Potty Linguistics

When Edward turned two, he declared/deduced that poo poo should actually be called “brown” (because most of the time it was brown).  He then proceeded to call it such in all situations.  We have had to explain this lexical confusion/genius? to teachers, babysitters, friends’ parents: “If he says he needs to ‘make brown,’ that means he needs to poo poo.”

Our entire family has embraced this terminology for the past four years—even grandparents and great-grandparents:  “No, we’ve got to hurry, hurry!  He said brownbrown do you hear me?”

This of course changes the meaning of seemingly innocuous comments like “Brown Head” or “He smells like brown.”  Or, “I think there is dog brown on my shoe.”  “What’s that on the carpet—it looks like brown!”  Or the ever-popular: “This casserole is yuck–it tastes like brown!”

Not to mention the hilarity when reading Mr. Brown Can Moo.  You get the picture.

So now, not to be outdone, Sue has labeled tee tee “fountain.”  And now we have conversations like this: “Is it brown or just fountain?”  “There’s a little bit of fountain on my princess potty.”  “Uh-oh…fountain in the car seat!”  (Fountain over brown any day, I say!)

(There will be a lot to explain at preschool this year…perhaps I should prepare a handy glossary card.)

Today we were two hours away at Edward’s bi-monthly OT appointment, and we spent a generous amount of time trudging from gas station to “fast food outlet,” princess potty seat in hand, because a girl can’t “fountain” in a Sprite bottle or potato chip bag like a small boy.

Once we were headed back to our smallish town and were miles away from any potty spot, Edward announced his immediate need.  Still, this is no problem, we simply pulled over in some unsuspecting church parking lot.  He perched adroitly at the edge of the van door and relieved himself: “Look!  I’m a weed ‘pee er’!  I’m covering those weeds–look!”  Sue heard this and immediately screamed, “I want to be a weed ‘pee er’ like Edward!  I want to fountain a weed!  Let me out of this car seat so I can fountain!”

Posted on 28 July '08 by , under Humor/Disconnected Miscellany.

7 Comments to “Potty Linguistics”

#1 Posted by MT (29.07.08 at 16:50 )

The scary thing is that I can totally imagine this type of conversation going on in my house (older son 7/pdd-nos and little sister age 3/diva). Thanks for putting a smile on my face!

kids are blessings,

#2 Posted by Kim (29.07.08 at 22:19 )

I found you 🙂
I love your blog !!
I really enjoyed talking to you today – thanks for your listening ear today
See you soon

Kims last blog post..It is a bit surreal …

#3 Posted by ali (30.07.08 at 12:46 )

LOL! This makes me think of the ‘pee pee cup’ I carry in the van at all times. It’s come in so handy that I’m glad I have boys!

#4 Posted by Three Channels » Frog Legs and Ham (31.07.08 at 00:59 )

[…] but I don’t pay close attention to anything they say back there other than the words “brown,” “fountain” or blood.)  I figured he was mis-reading a […]

#5 Posted by hopealso (hippie dippie bébé) (31.07.08 at 13:47 )

Wholy smokes that is absolutely hysterical! Thank you for the laugh (and for the comment earlier!). Glad to have found your blog, I definitely need a laugh once in awhile (even moreso of late).

Oh, and I’m more than happy to listen you complain about your town. I do it all the time! You have a reader on that one!

[…] “delicate flower” 3-year-old would rather “tee tee a weed” in the woods behind the football field than attempt to grace this beast.  Can you blame […]

[…] So we slogged on to the next health food store only to hear the tell-tale “Oh!  Oh no!  The brown!  It’s coming!  It’s […]