Twelve Things My Children Will Never Hear Me Say
(Helene did this hilarious post the other day so I am copying her!)
Let me move that Spode sugar bowl closer so you can ream out a decent fingerful of sugar!

I love it when tiny frogs are lost in the house! Yes, by all means, bring that insect menagerie inside to lure out the frogs!

My lipstick is your lipsick!

I like where you are going with the distressing of this wall. Repeatedly spinning and knocking this leather chair is creating such an authentic, aged plaster effect. Perfect for this circa 1990 home!

There’s no need to shower–just wipe your mud-encrusted knees on the one clean rug I own!
Certainly! Butter is a wonderful finger food!

Absolutely, you can swing on that poison ivy vine—why don’t you give your baby sister a boost?
Oh, just throw those purple puppy pee towels in the washer with my white monogrammed 600 thread count sheets!
Free cotton candy? Golden! Why don’t you get a pink and a blue!

Iced tea spoons were just made for eating cereal! Don’t worry about cleaning up all those raisins you picked out of that costly organic raisin bran you just had to have!

Feel free to roam around my clean house while you leisurely eat dinner! Why don’t you see if you can flick banana strings on the chandelier!

Mountain Dew is a great thing to drink before bed!












































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