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Tiny Dwarf Hamster Jeopardy

I’m not completely clear regarding the statue of limitations on a blog story.  That being said, I’m fairly certain the parties/witnesses involved are not posting this story on their blogs since I’ve given them three weeks to do so.

Therefore I’m running free with a bit of hamster humor.

I have to shout out at Stimey who has written so winningly/trepidatiously of late regarding class pet gerbils/hamsters.

We have a great “small group” from our church that meets weekly to do Bible studies, discuss topics, pray, etc.  We take turns leading (sort of.)

So this was the first time for our leader Chris to direct the talk.  Let me just say he was well-prepared!  He is knee-deep in discussion of a John Eldredge book when his cell phone rings.  He grabs his phone, glances at the number, mouths to the group that it is the “babysitter” and passes the phone to his wife, who adroitly tosses it back to him in a clever “hot-potato” move.

He reluctantly answers the phone, frowns, looks annoyed and tells the babysitter, “Well, they have lots of toys.  Don’t worry about that Strawberry Shortcake thing–there is no telling what other kind of garbage is under that fridge.”

He then hangs up the phone, a trifle annoyed.  He turns to all of us and says, “New babysitter.  A Strawberry Shortcake is caught under the refrigerator…why would she call about that?  She actually sounds like she’s crying.  Oh well…”

He then glances at his notes and begins talking again.  His wife, however, looks at him dumbfoundedly:

“You obviously don’t know who Strawberry Shortcake is, do you?”

“Some dumb toy, right?” he answers.

“No, sweetheart, it’s the babysitter’s new pet hamster.  I think it’s some sort of rare dwarf.”

“Oh, in that case, it’s stuck under our refrigerator.”

Lots of ideas were bantered around regarding the best way to safely excise the tiny pet.  Some suggested yard sticks, others posterboard with lots of tape.  Concern was expressed regarding movement of the fridge…it was reportedly such a tiny, fragile creature, and quite dear to the babysitter.

Finally a dear friend, neighbor and blogger Tubal Cain was texted, and he agreed to stop his important work to go a few doors down and rescue this sweet Shortcake.

As with most things, he was successful.

And he used the yardstick technique.

Posted on 2 October '08 by , under Humor/Disconnected Miscellany. 12 Comments.

Why Kids Snort Sugar!

I got this idea from Kia and Mrs. Bear and a host of others who are doing these clever “Google search string” posts.

“Why Kids Snort Sugar!”

Apparently if you a concerned about such occurrences in your own home, you can consult Three Channels and we are burgeoning authority on this topic.  Edward has been known to dip an errant finger into the sugar bowl from time to time but I’ve never seen him line up actual crystals on a mirror.  Yet again, there’s always next week…

“Role of Gender in the Necklace”

My, this does make my blog sound erudite.  Judith Butler, you’d better run!  (I’m more the anti-Judith Butler in actuality.  Although, sadly, I did use her as a source during graduate school.)  Nothing like having children to convince you that gender is biological!  Gracious!

“Huswifery Attitude Towards God”

I’m not sure exactly what this means from a theological perspective.  Perhaps it is looking at varying attitudes of women in the Mary vs Martha sense?  I would have been a torn “Mary” but would have spent the next several months guilt-ridden that I didn’t help Martha prepare the food.  Then to assuage the guilt, I would have prepared countless mediocre chicken/wild rice casseroles and cleaning-fluid-smelling lemon bars for delivery to undeserving shut-ins…

“Huswifery Broken Down”

That would be my house, right?  My fear of casseroles, my disdain for casserole caddies, my distaste of mending baskets, my bitter charwoman allusions…

“Dwarf Hamster Crying”

I mean I feel almost bad, like I’m stealing this from Stimey.  I’d give a dwarf hamster 17 minutes of life in this house.  Particularly since the overactive puppy arrived on the scene!

“Infant on Omnicef Poop Doesn’t Smell”

My question would be, “Is it worth $100.00 to have baby poo that doesn’t smell for 10 days?” I guess if an ear infection is cured in the process, the answer is “Yes!”  I also wonder how anyone who actually has an infant would have time to Google something that isn’t an actual problem.

“Poems about School Crazys and the in thing in the 80s”

See, this reminds me of Facebook and all the reasons I live in deadly fearful of Facebook.  I know, I know, I should try it because I would love it.

Yard Butt

Most of you all missed this early blogging controvery but a few might recall my vacillation regarding using the word “butt” in the title of a post…how I switched the title back and forth from “butt” to “bottom” and how I wrestled with my own blogging identity through this trial.

That was kinda fun.  Thanks for indulging me!

Posted on 6 February '09 by , under Huswifery. 8 Comments.