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Where Have I Been??

Where have I been?  When my dear friend, Kia, sent me the message: “Dood, where’d you go?” I started to wonder myself where the last two weeks have gone, and I’ll have to admit, the wondering stumped me in a frightening way.

So tonight, while my husband has gone cougar hunting (for the real animals, people) with friends for the weekend, I am feeding my children popcorn and donuts, and allowing them to watch 102 Dalmations (mild violence) while I try to catch up.  (Thank you KinniKinnick for your awesome GF/CF cinnamon sugar donuts!)

(Yes, I did say cougar hunting.  Apparently cougars can be quite a menace, although H has never killed another living thing since, as a young boy, he shot a bird with a bow and arrow crafted out of a windshield wiper blade.  I feel confident regarding the cougar population’s longevity.)

So I decided to run through my calendar and pictures for the past two weeks and see what all I actually did accomplish.  Here’s the short list:

1.  Help Edward prepare for City-Wide Home School Spelling Bee, which included words like “suet” and “concentric,” while simultaneously adjusting to a new developmental psychologist.  “What are you drawing, Edward?” she asks as he draws circles encircled by circles, endlessly.  “Oh, those are concentric circles…you know c-o-n-c-e-n-t-r-i-c…Sort of reminds me of the little poem, ‘A Thief in the Night, t-h-i-e-f!’   “Yes, well…I…”  She looks at me, puzzled.  “Why is he spelling everything?” she whispers, scribbling furiously on her notepad.  (Glory be, she’s found yet another diagnosis!)  “Oh, he’s just preparing for a big spelling bee,” I encouraged.  He then regaled her with a long discussion of Cuba and communism followed by questions about positive and negative cognition.  “There’s just so much dyssynchronous development going on here…such an amazing cognitive ability while the social…”  “Yes!  Dyssynchrony!”  Edward chortles!  “I can’t spell it but I know it means ‘uneven’!”

2.  Teach children how to use a napkin properly.

Did I mention we have a new puppy?


3.  Celebrate Joseph’s 9-year-old birthday with a trip to Olive Garden.  (Remember, it’s a chain-obsessed town.)


Did you know new puppies don’t sleep well at night?  And if they sleep in your child’s bed, they will relieve themselves at the corner of the bedspread?

4.  Receive training in how to administer growth hormone shots to Edward.  Give growth hormone shots to Edward.  Every. Single. Night. Possibly. For. The. Next. Ten. Years.

Were you aware that new puppies get sick when fed too many raisins and popcorn?  Not to mention the gas that particular combination creates in the newborn canine digestive system…

5.  Attend Sue’s “Muffins with Mom” celebration at her preschool while darting out every three minutes to check on the other two boys who are found, red-faced and sweating, pummeling each other with pillows in the youth room while five calm, homeschooled girls watch Little House on the Prairie videos.

Have I mentioned that we have a new puppy and she’s learned how to bark.  Really, really loudly?


6.  Spend one day at a City-Wide Homeschool Spelling Bee followed by carpooling followed by borrowing every electronic hand-held game known to man in preparation for nine-year-old having two spots removed at a local dermatologist known for two-hour waits.  Sit with 3, 7 and 9-year-old in a waiting room while a TV monitor drones endlessly about the latest psoriasis treatments…field endless psoriasis questions:  “Do you have psoriasis?  Did I ever had psoriasis?  Do you think that lady has psoriasis?  Look how gross the psoriasis looks on that TV screen!  Are those things scabs?  Will that Humira help?  What does that girl have?  Do you think she has eczema?  Doesn’t she look like a babysitter we had once?  I know I had eczema and so did Joseph!  Did we take Humira?”

The questions are wearing me down: “Why can’t you play with that hand-held Star Wars thing?  Isn’t that why we borrowed it?  Why aren’t you playing it?”

“It’s out of batteries. I think it needs to be recharged.  Did you borrow the charger?  You know it comes with a charger.”

I rifle through the bag.  “There’s no charger!  Just watch the psoriasis show until they call our name!”

“Do you think I will ever get psoriasis?  Why is the ‘p’ silent in psoriasis?  Is it a Latin word?  What’s your favorite Latin word?  Do you have to know a lot of Latin to be a dermatologist?”

Did I mention we have a new puppy?  (Yes, she is peeing.)


Gone cougar hunting.  Check ya later!

Posted on 16 January '09 by , under Accidental Homeschooling, Autism Spectrum/Sensory Processing.

15 Comments to “Where Have I Been??”

#1 Posted by Steph at the Red Clay Diaries (17.01.09 at 13:00 )

Hey, good to see you again!

My reactions to your post?

So glad your hubby went hunting for real cougars, not the OTHER kind.

Puppies (and all dogs) can die from eating raisins or grapes. Also onions or chocolate. They’re toxic to their systems. So I guess you can be glad she only got sick.

Re: puppies. I have two words: crate training. 😉

I love your kids’ vocab and questions. Very entertaining to read, probably not quite so fun to experience.

Glad you’re checking in!

Steph at the Red Clay Diariess last blog post..Variations on a theme – LINKS

#2 Posted by Tari (17.01.09 at 16:48 )

Cougars? I take back all the nice things I said about living in the country. You need to move that man to a big city, pronto.

Taris last blog post..Two on TV

#3 Posted by Stimey (17.01.09 at 20:01 )

Hilarious post. Glad to see you’ve been busy.

Hey, I heard you have a new puppy. I think dogs are harder than kids.

Stimeys last blog post..Proof

#4 Posted by Carla (18.01.09 at 00:01 )

rolling on the floor here…oh my never a dull moment huh? How old is Edward again?! I truly think if I had had all these bloggy friends early in my life with JM I would not be quite so gray and wrinkly today.

dyssynchronous or asynchronous development has been the bane of my existence these last 10 years!

Carlas last blog post..Meme…againagain

#5 Posted by Christine (18.01.09 at 01:09 )

Glad to see you hadn’t “retired” from blogging already….I had missed reading you regularly. The puppy is adorable

Christines last blog post..The real "Beef" Auction

#6 Posted by andreacook (18.01.09 at 08:56 )

Been missing you sweetie! So glad to read this. Thanks for bringing yet another smile to my face!

I hear you loud and clear on the puppy debacle! We got our puppy pug with Sienna was 2. Toilet training a dog and a daughter who we didn’t know was on the spectrum at the time was challenging. Sometimes I think that our dog caused the autism in Sienna, then, I use my brain and realize that isn’t true, but it did brush closely with logic during those months!

andreacooks last blog post..More Things Change, More They Stay The Same

#7 Posted by Apr il ~ EnchantedDandelions (18.01.09 at 13:40 )

*virtual tacklehugs Elizabeth*

Hey there! I’ve missed reading your posts as well. So glad things have been going okay, just busy it sounds like!

Sophie is adorable! Hopefully she’ll get the hang of where (and where not to) pee very soon.

P.S. I have a dry spot on my elbow. Do you think you could take a look at it and tell me if it’s psoriasis? *wink*

P.S.S. I had to scroll up to your post to check if I spelled psoriasis correctly. I bet Edward wouldn’t have had to. Kudos for him and his awesome vocabulary!!

Apr il ~ EnchantedDandelionss last blog post..NAK, but…

#8 Posted by acarlson (18.01.09 at 14:50 )

Elizabeth is far too humble to mention this, but Edward did not just participate in the spelling bee. Edward WON the spelling bee. Coming from one who still mutters “i before e except after c” before committing to anything, I find this amazing. Congratulations, Edward!!

#9 Posted by Kia (GoodEnoughMama) (18.01.09 at 15:54 )

Phew. So glad you’re ok and haven’t been peed on and then eaten alive by that deceptively cute puppy. What a relief! (Get it? RELIEF? Peeing dog?)

Kia (GoodEnoughMama)s last blog post..You Scratch Meme and I’ll Scratch YouYou

#10 Posted by Patty (18.01.09 at 17:22 )

I am so glad you are back. I missed your posts. Wow, you are a brave, brave woman. I keep considering getting a pet, but then chicken out. I can’t even potty train my children. I probably have no right to get an animal as well. Good luck!

P.S. Will you skin and eat the cougar if your husband gets one? Is it like venison?

Pattys last blog post..dinner invitation (with stipulations)

#11 Posted by Stonefox (18.01.09 at 19:51 )

Girl, all I can think is that with BABIES in diapers I don’t think I ever want a dog. When I get over all the crap production and clean up, I never want to see another pile in my life.

We have missed you. I know you are going through a lot. Remembering you!

Stonefoxs last blog post..Journal Covers- Taking Orders!

#12 Posted by mrsbear (19.01.09 at 00:24 )

I’ve missed your posts so much. I’m so glad to hear everything is going well. As well as can be expected with a new puppy in the house. She’s lucky she’s adorable, otherwise she might have ended up as cougar bait…I’m kidding, I’ve never fed my pet to a cougar even though mine have caused some pretty unsightly messes. Congrats to Edward on the spelling bee! My 10 year old qualified for her school bee this year, last year she got stumbled by femininity. Not enough i’s I think. Keep us updated on your puppy progress. 😉

mrsbears last blog post..Excuses, Excuses, Excuses – A HASAY Update

#13 Posted by kim (20.01.09 at 14:18 )

LOL !! Life is never boring huh??
How did the spelling bee go?
We ended up not having time to come by and see it b/c I waited until the last minute to pack everything for our Out of town trip
It was good to see you last night

kims last blog post..cleaning time – move forward

#14 Posted by Maddy (22.01.09 at 13:25 )

Ooo dear. We appear to be having the same puppy experiences. Just finished cleaning the carpet……again. Never mind, the kids learned that feeding the dog chocolate is not a good plan.
Best wishes

Maddys last blog post..Handy hint – the power of touch [the nudge]

#15 Posted by Three Channels » Why Kids Snort Sugar! (06.02.09 at 21:31 )

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