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Nutcracker Dreams I Don’t Deserve

Every year beginning when I was three, my mother and grandmother would take me to the Nutcracker.  I grew up in Nashville, TN, and the ballet there was lovely and quite established.  I would dress in my best Christmas dress, tights and patent leather shoes.

One year, I even had a tiny white fur muff with matching hat.  I supposed looking back, this tradition meant a great deal more to me than I realized at the time.  I have mourned its passing each year since I left for college, and then later when my grandmother died right before my wedding day.

This year, however, in a sort of unexpected blessing, the tradition was rekindled with my tiny Sue who is finally three.  She’s old enough so sit through a ballet without wailing, talking incessantly or needing to nurse.  Right before my eyes, God has transformed her from a chubby, bouncing toddler in to a tender-hearted, long-legged, inquisitive little girl.

I have written before about my pregnancy with Sue, and how, after two miscarriages, I longed for a healthy baby with a fervency I’d never felt before.  I have many dear friends who have battled infertility for countless years.  Some have ended their struggle with a biological child, and others with the grand blessing of adoption.  I certainly cannot imagine those kinds of struggles, but I am certain that in loaning us Sue for a short time, God gave us His best.

So yesterday, when God blessed me with the chance to take my own smallish girl to the ballet, I relished in the event.  I tried to capture many moments in my mind and in my heart.

Here she is waiting in great anticipation for the ballet to begin.

She sat riveted to her seat, mesmerized by the music and the dance.  When we got up for intermission, she was worried that the ballet was over.  When we came back after getting our candy and taking a potty break, she exclaimed, “Oh goody!  We get to see it again!”

“Mama, I want to be there, on that stage, with them.  I want to be there dancing with them.  Can I be, Mama, can I do it?”

“Absolutely, sweetheart, absolutely.”

Posted on 2 December '08 by , under Faith is the Evidence.

21 Comments to “Nutcracker Dreams I Don’t Deserve”

#1 Posted by Peanut (02.12.08 at 02:52 )

Wow! What a special time 🙂 And such a blessing that you get to relive your tradition again.
I love little opportunities to go out with my daughter. I should try something like this 🙂
I adore the picture of you two!

Peanuts last blog post..Mystery Solved!

#2 Posted by Stonefox (02.12.08 at 03:52 )

That first picture is blessed. What a precious angel you have! Thanks for sharing your sweet time with us; it is truly heartwarming.

Stonefoxs last blog post..Ransomed! (What in the World is God Doing?)

#3 Posted by ashley (02.12.08 at 08:06 )

So precious – what a sweet tradition! Next year Sue can start ballet! WOW!!

#4 Posted by Steph at the Red Clay Diaries (02.12.08 at 10:48 )

So very sweet! I’ve taken both of my girls in the past, but not for a couple years. They loved it.

Steph at the Red Clay Diariess last blog post..But I don’t WANNA be responsible!

#5 Posted by jaden (02.12.08 at 12:11 )

Aww, I love those pics! So precious… I remember my Dad used to take me to the nutcracker in Boston when I was younger, and it was a memory I always treasured… I love your idea of bringing it back with my daughter!! Maybe when she gets a bit older, I’ll take her 🙂

jadens last blog post..Merry SITSMAS!!!

#6 Posted by Mrsbear (02.12.08 at 13:18 )

It sounds like a wonderful night and honestly, the sweet way you described it made me a little misty eyed. I can’t even blame it on the hormones. lol. What a great tradition to keep alive.

Mrsbears last blog post..How SITSmas Snuck Up On Me

#7 Posted by Patty O. (02.12.08 at 13:30 )

That’s beautiful. And the picture? So wonderful. I am so glad Sue enjoyed the ballet as much as you. What a wonderful tradition to share with your daughter. I want to start something like this with my Charlotte.

Patty O.s last blog post..I forgot to take my happy pill today

#8 Posted by April ~ EnchantedDandelions (02.12.08 at 13:59 )

You have me bawling over here. What a wonderful tradition One that I may have to begin next year.

My Abbie is 3.5, and I can definitely commiserate. More often than not, I am seeing more of a little girl, and less of my firstborn baby.

April ~ EnchantedDandelionss last blog post..My first Black Friday…

#9 Posted by goodfountain (02.12.08 at 14:15 )

I hope to do the same next year with my daughters…

goodfountains last blog post..Baby turns two

#10 Posted by hellokittiemama/MT (02.12.08 at 14:28 )

Oh I cannot wait!!! We are going soon with Belle 🙂 I have memories that same furry muffler type of deal from my childhood.

Happy holidays 🙂

hellokittiemama/MTs last blog post..All he wants for Christmas is a PIXAR lamp

#11 Posted by BQkimmy (02.12.08 at 16:45 )

How beautiful. It’s fantastic that you can now build these memories for your daughter just like they were built for you. It is a wonderful tradtion to share with her.

BQkimmys last blog post..Starting Therapy

#12 Posted by Kia (GoodEnoughMama) (02.12.08 at 21:32 )

Aw, this is precious. Where’s the pic of YOUR shoes? MWAHAHAHAHAAHA…

I got the purse today. Drop by for a lookie. Oh, and there’s some penis bling for you, too. AHA! That got your attention, didn’t it?

Kia (GoodEnoughMama)s last blog post..“Mommy, My Ear Hurts and My Tongue is Bumpy…”

#13 Posted by Jennibeanv (02.12.08 at 23:18 )

Oh that is so sweet! :*)

Jennibeanvs last blog post..Happy T-Day! And, You’re Welcome!

#14 Posted by Charlotte (02.12.08 at 23:24 )

That is so sweet! Seeing how we have all boys, the odds of my having a similar experience are zilch! You’ll have to invite me over for a tea party! *hint*hint*

Charlottes last blog post..Airborne tower lighting at Fort Benning

#15 Posted by andreacook (03.12.08 at 13:49 )

You can’t see it, but, real tears. Here, in my eyes. So adorable. Love the special mommy moments. Thanks for sharing!

andreacooks last blog post..Happy Happy Thanksgiving!!!

#16 Posted by Tonggu Momma (03.12.08 at 20:35 )

After dreaming of a daughter for so long, I know exactly what you mean. I am so glad you shared this precious tradition with her. And the pictures were precious.

Tonggu Mommas last blog post..Caffeinated Jet Lag

#17 Posted by Helene (03.12.08 at 23:53 )

First off I have to say that first pic of the two of you together is so sweet!!! Secondly, I’m so glad you posted about this because I just had a conversation with my sister today about whether Bella (age 4) was too young to go to the Nutcracker Ballet this year. My sister has a tradition with her 10-yr old daughter that they go to the ballet every year to see this. So she thought it would be to start the tradition with my daughter so all 4 of us could make a day out of it. I kept hemming and hawing over whether Bella could sit through the whole thing without being bored (even though she loves Barbie Nutcracker and can sit through that whole movie completely immobilized!). Based on what you said about Sue loving it so much, I think I will tell my sister to get the tickets! I think Bella will love it just as much as your daughter!

Helenes last blog post..Random randomness….

#18 Posted by FringeGirl (04.12.08 at 00:16 )

That’s so sweet. What a nice day with your daughter. I’m sure it’s a memory she’ll cherish.

FringeGirls last blog post..Trees, Trimmings, & Trauma

#19 Posted by Tari (04.12.08 at 10:23 )

Wait, you had a white fur muff?! I am so jealous. I read The Little Princess 47 times as a child, and that was one of my more desired items.

And Sue looks too precious for words!

Taris last blog post..That Little Acronym

#20 Posted by Rhemashope (04.12.08 at 14:59 )

What a gift. My sis took her 6 year old to the Nutcracker on opening night last weekend. She was enchanted, mesmerized and wanted to stand on her feet the whole night.

#21 Posted by Carla (04.12.08 at 22:26 )

I can NOT wait to take Katie! 🙂 Somehow I just don’t think the boys would make it. Not even at age 10 and 6. We’re hoping to entice them to “live performances” with Spamalot. Well, at least the 10 year old. LOL

You grew up in Nashville?! We so gotta talk.

Carlas last blog post..internet and birthday