Sorry I’ve been absent for so many days. Just over here imagining the moments ahead….and oh, the moments we’ve had!
Apparently third grade is a grade of projects done in the home. With no further adieu, I bring you the glorious, the spectacular,
BUTTER PAT EYE PIG!
This project is designed to teach proper placement of the continents which renders unfortunate Antarctica as a blue pig scrotum.
Edward told me about this project just as we were going to bed the night before it was due, so he hastily colored the continents and placed them in their respective spots on this pig friend.
Does anyone else find the eyes somewhat creepy? Do you find his smile authentic, or is something far more sinister going on here?
(Mrs. Bear might even find him a tad zombified.)
So the rest of the story finds E running out the door the next morning, gluten-free bagel in hand, casually dripping a swathe of butter right onto the pig’s eye since the all-important project was left in the middle of the kitchen floor. Edward casually wipes off the butter, scoops up the pig, who now boasts a rather rheumy, glowing eye, and runs off to school.
Imagine my horror upon opening his backpack later that afternoon to find the pig crammed inside!
“I did not put him in there! I promise I turned him in!!” a frightened Edward screams.
“Look at his eyes,” Sue chants, “Just look at those eyes!”
At this point, I’m rather miffed. I do not like to be part of continent pig projects period, much less at 8:45 at night only to have them not turned in. Still, Edward swears he has no knowledge of how the pig got back in his backpack.
And I believe him.