A School That Serves Funnel Cakes…
Yes, we have been welcomed to some experimental (yet mandatory) free breakfast program for our local school system.
This sounds all fine and good until you peruse the breakfast menu choices. I cannot imagine my hyperactive 5-year-old on a FUNNEL CAKE breakfast! You might as well give him a box of powdered sugar and a straw.
The offering labeled “Pancake Pod” is literally a white flour pancake with about half a cup of high fructose corn syrup-infused grape jelly plopped down in the middle of it.
Remember, this is from a school system that has the “riblet sandwich” on their regular lunch rotation.
In the interest of somehow keeping Edward enrolled in the “award-winning computer magnet academy” as he calls it, I have orchestrated a strict daily breakfast of scrambled organic eggs and water—no deviations—not even a banana! Maybe after he’s made it to the 6-week mark, I can introduce a small piece of fruit or bran muffin, but for right now, it’s the egg-only option.
No, we don’t have money for more than two computers in the classroom but just sit back and relax! Have a funnel cake!
Shhhhh…close your eyes and pretend you are at the State Fair! Don’t you hear the midway rumbling? Hmmm, it feels like someone is peeing on my shoe.
Very disorienting…particularly to a 5-year-old.
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