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Should I Go to New York and Other Guilt

Summer’s upon us.

And I’m running scared.

It’s not that I lament my children will be home with me twenty-four hours per day for the next several months.  I did homeschool them for a few years, so I am used to having them around.

It’s just that “last-few-weeks-of-school” frenzy has me crazed, and has disrupted Edward to the point that I’m considering pulling him out of school.  Yet since there are only two weeks left, that makes little since.


Plus I am supposed to got to New York during the last week of school so why would I blow that?

Why would I?

For the past four years I have gone to New York with my best high school and college friend to work a stationery trade show with her.  It is desperately hard work, but amazingly fun, and many times I believe this trip has saved my sanity and potentially my marriage.

(Yes, I know I’m overly dramatic, but I’m serious about the sanity part.)

Ok, B just walked in here, saw the title of the post, and told me I should go to New York.

I am just seeing poor Edward melt down in the wake of disrupted schedules, class parties and field days.  He simply cannot handle a schedule that switches Social Studies with Art and eliminates Math.  Throw in a Third Grade talent show that he is not able to participate in because he is in Second Grade, and I don’t know what will happen!

Do I think that I am the only person who can help him traverse these schedule-trashed waters?  Do I think that only I can make sure he is safe, well-fed and has enough books?

Can I go on this trip without crushing guilt?

Am I harboring unhealthy angst because he fell off the trampoline while I was in plain sight?

What is wrong with me?

Posted on 6 May '10 by , under Autism Spectrum/Sensory Processing, Faith is the Evidence.

11 Comments to “Should I Go to New York and Other Guilt”

#1 Posted by Tari (06.05.10 at 23:44 )

Ok, the panic disorder sufferer in me is saying “don’t go, don’t go!” but that’s because I like schedule disruptions almost as much as E does. And flying. I love flying.

But in all seriousness, you should go. Would it make it worse for E to go to school just mornings that last week, or would something like that help because there would be fewer over-stimulating events? How much can B be at school to “supervise” and at home to help E to unwind however he needs to? If the answer is “a lot”, then it will be fine. Will it be great, super, fantastic? No. But if none of this was going to happen, and you went and they all got a riotous case of the stomach flu while you were gone, would you wish you’d stayed home? Of course not.

Does that make sense? Oh, probably not. But if you’re being told “we’re fine. get on the plane.” then pack already!
.-= Tari´s last blog ..I’ll be there when the Bluebonnets Bloom =-.

#2 Posted by Jen (07.05.10 at 09:55 )

I’m the very one who would be saying exactly what you are, yet I would also encourage you to go. Yes, you will miss him and worry about him, but you need ‘me time’ too. I struggle with this when leaving the house for only 5 hours so I do understand, but you will regret it if you don’t go. You sound like you really enjoy the week, go for it 🙂 Jen.
.-= Jen´s last blog ..The Balancing Act. =-.

#3 Posted by Coreen Trost (07.05.10 at 09:58 )

I so know how you feel!! My youngest still thinks the world will fall apart if I’m not there to ‘help’ him. Trying so hard to ‘transition’ him a little more each month & year that goes by. I sure wish I wasn’t the only one that takes care of everything for him. But I am and it’s always been that way. Oh well…. I want to go to Chicago in 3 weeks, but it all depends on if my son needs me here or not. Sigh…..
You however…. Go to New York!!!!!!!!!!! For both of us.. (you can post pictures, write & I can feel like I was there too) so Please!!
.-= Coreen Trost´s last blog ..Autism Spectrum Quarterly Magazine =-.

#4 Posted by acarlson (07.05.10 at 18:47 )

Please go. You must go.

#5 Posted by Adoption of Jane (07.05.10 at 23:40 )

Nothings wrong with you… its that mommy thang! Go on and go it will recharge you to be sane for the Summer!! Happy Mothers Day!!!

#6 Posted by Patty (09.05.10 at 15:28 )

What’s wrong with you? you ask. Well, you’re a mom who loves her kids and wants to always be there for them. And you are experiencing mommy guilt, which is pretty par for the course, I think.

I understand how you are feeling. I went away for a 3-day weekend a couple weeks ago and felt horrible about leaving the kids. And there were a few meltdowns while I was gone, which made me feel even worse.

Still, that trip was the best thing I have done for myself in a long time, which means it was good for my family, as well. I hope you will seriously think about going, because you deserve it, and you need it. No matter how hard it is to go through with it.
.-= Patty´s last blog ..My Mother’s Day gift to you =-.

#7 Posted by mrsbear (10.05.10 at 12:23 )

There’s nothing wrong with you. You’re a good mom. You want your kids to be happy and safe and well adjusted. But your sanity and the rare opportunity to take some time for yourself is just as important. They will get along. They will get through the tough moments. You might bring the crushing guilt with you, but hopefully you can leave it tucked away in your bags while you enjoy the city and the company. 😉

#8 Posted by j* (12.05.10 at 03:04 )

Oh HECK YEAH you should go. I want to go, too. We could go line up for cheeseburgers at The Shake Shack at Madison Ave and East 23rd St. And this time I wouldn’t have a four-year-old throwing up on the sidewalk, nauseous from the dodgy taxi ride downtown.

#9 Posted by Elle (12.05.10 at 09:54 )

I hope you go. I know the worries and guilt are hard, but this will be so good for you.
.-= Elle´s last blog ..What The Hell Wednesday~31 =-.

#10 Posted by the domestic fringe (13.05.10 at 15:43 )

Um, your husband just said go, right? Go, without guilt. Everyone will be waiting for you when you get home and I’m sure it will you do you good to get away. It always makes me feel better to get a little break every now and then.
.-= the domestic fringe´s last blog ..In This Age of Entitlement =-.

#11 Posted by Stonefox (14.05.10 at 04:37 )

I am all about keeping one’s sanity. That’s pretty darn important. GO (and don’t look back for the time you’re there 🙂 )
.-= Stonefox´s last blog ..Spiritual Fruitfulness vs. Faithfulness =-.