Here we are the day before tax day and the midpoint of Autism Awareness month, and I find myself over here just feeling incredibly mad.
There have been some fascinating news items and blogosphere controversies surrounding autism this month. Some excellent dialogue has taken place and I believe much has been accomplished in the arena of Autism Awareness.
Yet today, I am just angry, pissed off and flat-out livid toward this exhausting developmental challenge called Autism.
I am sad that a mother in my child’s school promised a playdate within actual earshot of my child and then just never called back or returned my phone call. She doesn’t have to listen to the endless questions about why she never called and why that boy must not want to play with my child.
She doesn’t realize that this was the VERY FIRST playdate that he has been invited on since we moved to this town in August of 2009. This mother used to work in an autism clinic! I’m just mad and I sure don’t want to see her in the school halls anytime soon.
I am world weary of fighting with my insurance company to somehow coerce them to pay for at least a fraction of my son’s treatments. I am almost driven insane by the cost of summer camps that cater to children on the autism spectrum. As if we haven’t paid enough out of pocket throughout the year for supplements and non-covered treatments, now summer comes and we have miraculously find more cash.
Yes, I am sure there are some perfectly grand camps out there sponsored by Easter Seals and the like, but my child needs intense social skills work and let me just tell you that anything associated with social skills is ridiculously expensive.
I am so sick and tired of friends and relatives who hint, or actually come out and say, that my son’s autism was caused by something I did or didn’t do during pregnancy. Or that his difficulties stem from me not loving him enough during infancy. Or that perhaps he has a completely different disorder that they have vaguely heard about on the news but has absolutely nothing to do with his challenges! Google it people! Don’t throw disorder names around when you have absolutely NO IDEA what you are talking about!
I’m relatively pissed off at my child’s teacher who pulled me aside after Edward’s solo to tell me that she was extremely proud of how far he had come this year, but then looked deep into my eyes, grabbed my arm and reminded, “But you know he still has a long way to go.” No sh** woman! You think I don’t know that? But thanks for the reminder. Made my day.
I usually try to end my posts with an uplifting, hopeful comment or message. Today, however, I can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel or the pot at the end of the rainbow or the promise of my child garnering a great engineering or programming job at the end of an Asperger’s diagnosis.
Today, I’m just mad.