It’s 5:25 on Friday afternoon which means I have successfully made it through an entire vacationless Spring Break week!
(If a coworker loaned you a Florida condo free of charge for a week, please do not tell me. Everyone all over the country seems to be flocking to these grand free condos but me.)
Per usual, I have learned a few important life lessons this week, some of which make me miss homeschooling and others that make me glad we are having a run at a neighborhood school so my children can return there Monday morning.
1. Ten-year-olds are much better at spotting snakes than I am.
2. Our family still attracts ticks at an unnatural pace.
3. No matter what kind of life-changing coupon you receive in the mail from Chuck E. Cheese, DO NOT GO THERE! It will take four children more time to choose their “prizes” than to play every sorry game in the place twice.
And Chuck’s vacant eyes terrify most children under the age of five.
4. Having blood drawn and getting an X-ray of your hand does not qualify as a Spring Break activity if you are eight.
5. Puppies will go into heat *again* if you “forget” to do something medically about that natural wonder.
6. You can teach a ten-year-old how to use a crock pot but you cannot make him eat ham-potato casserole.
7. Boys can make a competition out of pulling up wild onion weed.
8. Fig Newtons have hard stemmy things in them that can break a tooth.
9. If you give two boys Pop-its, Silly String and balloons, they will try to make a bomb. It may end up inexplicably on your roof.
10. Children will drink hummingbird nectar. Out of the feeder.