Bombshells and Ketchup

Last night, I had an occasion to take Edward to the grocery store without the other children.

Of course we were seeking ketchup–his favorite (and only accepted) condiment!  (I would have to say he is it obsessed with ketchup since he dips scrambled eggs and raw carrots in it.  In fact, I was lamenting this to MT this morning who always makes me feel better because her son has a ketchup penchant as well!)

We use the Publix organic ketchup because it doesn’t have high fructose corn syrup, and because it is the ONLY ketchup without HFCS that he will actually eat.  And we have tried them all and we go through two bottles per week.  Enough about ketchup!

So we are standing in line and of course Edward begins to peruse the magazines.

I brace myself for the inevitable questions. (Remember the child star?)

His first:  “What’s a ‘bombshell’ ?  Looks like it’s some kinda big woman!”

It is Kirstie Allie touting her new Big Life show.

He then directs his gaze to the checkout guy: “Do you know what a bombshell is?”

The fellow grins and laughs a little.

“Ahh, Mom, I see you are buying Advil PM!  Is that because you can’t sleep?  Can you not sleep because of all of Dad’s horrible snoring?

That is indeed why I am buying Advil PM…that and a four-year-old who won’t sleep in her own bed when she is sick and must listen to the Heffalump sound track in order to fall asleep every time she awakens from her feverish strep sleep. I also can’t sleep because every time you wake up, you turn on your history CD and I can hear it drone on and on about the Celts from my room…

The checkout guy glances at me and stifles a laugh.  I swipe my card and pay for the goods.  I’m packing up to go when I notice a Sierra Mist in E’s hand.  I did tell him he could get it since he tried his best at social skills class.  The guy rings it up.

“One dollar and eight cents!”  Edward comments.  “What’s the eight cents for?”

I begin my patented “tax talk” and he interrupts, “Oh yes tax, I know all about that.  So what would tax be on like 200 million dollars?”  He looks at the checkout guy who looks at me, smilingly dumbfounded.

“Never-mind you two.  It’d be about $1.6 million,” Edward asserts.

More money than we’ll ever see…

And with that, we’re out the door!