Mumbers: And then I saw the tiny buck teeth…
1 Number of rats that Sophie, our 6-month-old Boston Terrier puppy, apparently caught or found already expired.
Yes, I was sitting in my back yard yesterday evening enjoying a solitary moment while my children watched an educational show about warthogs when Sophie bounded up to me, some brown hunk in her mouth.
At first, I assumed it was a stick since she is known to chew sticks, leaves and the like. I patted her head absentmindedly and continued my musing. She chewed with such abandon, however, that I finally looked closer at her prey, only to note that it had a foul odor.
I peered even closer and saw rheumy eyes staring back at me. Naturally, I jumped back in fear and horror, and then proceeded to chase her around the yard while the corpse bounced and bobbled in her tiny mouth.
Finally she dropped the ugsome mass at my feet. Gingerly, with my face aimed in a different direction, I scooped up the creature with a stick and began to carry it toward the fence.
Slowly, out of a twisted curiosity, I took a gander at the thing. It was stretched out thin and brown and, at first take, appeared to be part of a snake.
I was cool with that and slightly relieved because while I was in New York, Sue apparently ran in the house announcing the arrival of a snake and H had to chase the snake back into its hole and then jam a Number 2 pencil down in the hole to assure the snake made its home a grave.
I dashed across the yard with the snake-on-a-stick only to ponder the necessity of determining whether or not this snake was a poisonous variety. I squinted protectively and looked closer.
And that is when, to my own blood-curdling revulsion, I saw two tiny buck teeth protruding from a flattened mouth! Not a snake, but a stretched-out, leathery, jerky-like rat!
I had to run inside a pour myself a small glass of sherry I was shaking so hard. I quickly retired to my fainting couch for the evening.
I’ve no mumbers left…
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