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Mumbers: And then I saw the tiny buck teeth…

mumbers

1 Number of rats that Sophie, our 6-month-old Boston Terrier puppy, apparently caught or found already expired.

sophie_teeth

Yes, I was sitting in my back yard yesterday evening enjoying a solitary moment while my children watched an educational show about warthogs when Sophie bounded up to me, some brown hunk in her mouth.

At first, I assumed it was a stick since she is known to chew sticks, leaves and the like.  I patted her head absentmindedly and continued my musing.  She chewed with such abandon, however, that I finally looked closer at her prey, only to note that it had a foul odor.

I peered even closer and saw rheumy eyes staring back at me.  Naturally, I jumped back in fear and horror, and then proceeded to chase her around the yard while the corpse bounced and bobbled in her tiny mouth.

Finally she dropped the ugsome mass at my feet.  Gingerly, with my face aimed in a different direction, I scooped up the creature with a stick and began to carry it toward the fence.

Slowly, out of a twisted curiosity, I took a gander at the thing.  It was stretched out thin and brown and, at first take, appeared to be part of a snake.

I was cool with that and slightly relieved because while I was in New York, Sue apparently ran in the house announcing the arrival of a snake and H had to chase the snake back into its hole and then jam a Number 2 pencil down in the hole to assure the snake made its home a grave.

I dashed across the yard with the snake-on-a-stick only to ponder the necessity of determining whether or not this snake was a poisonous variety.  I squinted protectively and looked closer.

And that is when, to my own blood-curdling revulsion, I saw two tiny buck teeth protruding from a flattened mouth!  Not a snake, but a stretched-out, leathery, jerky-like rat!

I had to run inside a pour myself a small glass of sherry I was shaking so hard.  I quickly retired to my fainting couch for the evening.

I’ve no mumbers left…

Posted on 1 June '09 by , under Humor/Disconnected Miscellany.

10 Comments to “Mumbers: And then I saw the tiny buck teeth…”

#1 Posted by mrsbear (01.06.09 at 13:47 )

Oh goodness. Rat jerky. I think I’ll be skipping lunch this afternoon. My daughter yesterday mentioned a fly infested bird somewhere along the back fence. “Tell your Dad,” I replied. The dead things are sooooooo outside my scope. Gurg.

mrsbears last blog post..Why PMS and Social Functions Don’t Mix

#2 Posted by Tari (01.06.09 at 13:52 )

Can she come live in my attic for a week or two?

Taris last blog post..A Funny (okay, A MILD Funny)

#3 Posted by kim (01.06.09 at 17:35 )

OOHH
YUCK
that totally gave me the goose bumps
animals like the grossest things

kims last blog post..summer time!

#4 Posted by Tonggu Momma (01.06.09 at 19:54 )

This SO does not compare, but I did find it funny that yesterday I picked up a mouse that Molly gave to us as a present. (Molly is a feral cat who has now decided that we are Her People.) And yes, I used a bag to do it. Because ewww….

Tonggu Mommas last blog post..Splinters and a Shock

#5 Posted by Peanut (01.06.09 at 20:32 )

EEEEWWWWW!!! Rats are gross.

Peanuts last blog post..Five things I love about my home

#6 Posted by Stimey (01.06.09 at 23:30 )

Yeah, that’s really, really gross.

We found a rat like that in our shed when we moved into the house we owned before our current one. We called it The Ratsicle.

Stimeys last blog post..We’re Going to Draw Straws For the Death Seat

#7 Posted by Patty (02.06.09 at 15:25 )

Yikes!!!!! I get totally freaked about rats and mice. We should get a dog like Sophie and get her to hunt down all the mice that keep getting into our house despite all our efforts to kill and/or keep them away…..

I love your fainting couch and sherry reference. Sometime I wish I were a Victorian aristocrat, because they were surely never expected to clean up their kids’ poop. Maybe I should feign a fainting fit and see if my husband would take over all nasty clean up jobs. Probably not.

Pattys last blog post..Random Thoughts Tuesday–The Swimsuit Edition

#8 Posted by kia (good enough mama) (02.06.09 at 21:21 )

Oy. Mice are enough to send me into fits. I can’t even IMAGINE rats. Ick. Do you drink? IF so, then do it. IF you don’t? YOu should start.

#9 Posted by The Mother (03.06.09 at 21:45 )

My dog occasionally brings us dead, headless bunny rabbits. These I keep from the children.

But yesterday, we got to watch a garden snake eat a toad on our front porch. Educational opportunity!

But gross.

The Mothers last blog post..Apples to Eyeballs

#10 Posted by Katherine (15.06.09 at 12:25 )

I don’t know how they find them, but they always do. Always. That might be the only positive thing about being in an apartment now. It takes ALOT of work for Remi to find a rat, now. Or, so I hope…








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