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It is well known that I lean slightly toward the dramatic, and yet I must share my own struggle with no longer running down three flights of stairs to the knish shop for my morning coffee.  One week out of New York and I still wake up confused.

Also troubled are my children who, after seven days of coddling and inane liberty at the loving paws of their grandparents, have summarily transformed into Augustus Gloop and Veruca Salt clones.

When I first started leaving my children with my parents, I would prepare impeccably typed schedules and itineraries detailing all the interventions and activities that needed to transpire throughout the day.  When I returned from my trip, I’d find the list still sealed in its careful envelope and candy wrappers, soda drips and Happy Meal toys littering the floor.

Gradually, however, I have learned that part of being a grandparent is simply that gracious abandon that allows children to lounge in pjs until noon, eat ice cream after breakfast, and order the kid’s meal every single time at the drive through even though it is not fiscally responsible and the toy is some plastic head that blathers on and on about being a “doctor not a physicist.”


(The only up side to that toy is that all three of my children can now define physicist.  And lest you be encouraged that this “head toy” will be ruined by pool water and then happily discarded, think again.  I saw one today become dunked, thrown, sunk and bashed repeatedly and yet still the head prattled steadily about physicists.)

Still the sharp spike of freedom that I seized during my week in New York beckons to me, making me feel like a bad mother.  Perhaps it’s just summer’s advent…

At any rate, all four of us are in need of some serious deprogramming.

We’ve run through two cartons of ice cream in two days.

Posted on 29 May '09 by , under Humor/Disconnected Miscellany.

12 Comments to “Deprogramming”

#1 Posted by Stimey (29.05.09 at 23:35 )

You “saw” that happen to one today, or you “did” that to one today? I’m betting that you tried to kill the thing.

Stimeys last blog post..Ten Years

#2 Posted by Peanut (30.05.09 at 00:14 )

They don’t call it spoiling for nothing…

So… your sage advice is to rip up the note I just typed up for my mother-in-law tomorrow? I know I should. But I just want to make this easy for everyone (me included!)

Oh, and I hate those stupid plastic kids’ meal toys. I eagerly wait for anything on them to break so that I can throw them out!

Peanuts last blog post..Five things I love about my home

#3 Posted by Elizabeth (30.05.09 at 10:12 )

Good question, Stimey, as always. I wish I could say it was my idea to drown that head, but it was Sue’s. She asked me if it could go in the water and I said, “Certainly! Let’s see if it floats.”

#4 Posted by Kim (30.05.09 at 11:59 )

Girl I know it
There is nothing like returning to reality after such bliss
I am at my parents house being completely spoiled and my boys are being loved on and watched while I spend time with friends 🙂
I am thinking of staying all summer …

Kims last blog post..summer time!

#5 Posted by Danette (30.05.09 at 12:06 )

It’s hard getting back into the “routine” after a vacation but still worth it :).

Gotta love those kids meal toys (rolls eyes).

Danettes last blog post..SOOC Saturday: Jump!

#6 Posted by Helene (30.05.09 at 15:10 )

I totally laughed while reading this because my daughter was just screaming to me yesterday morning “I want it NOW” over and over when I refused to let her play with her Barbie doll until she brushed her teeth. I said, “Man, you sound like Veruca Salt” and I started calling her Veruca the rest of the day and she would just scream!!!

Good luck with the deprogramming!! My IL’s do the same thing….fill the kids with cookies, candy and let them do whatever they want and then they ship them home to us. Good times.

Helenes last blog post..Tantrum Torture….

#7 Posted by mrsbear (30.05.09 at 18:21 )

My dear mother was trying to convince me today that leaving all four of my kids with her for a weekend was a good idea. Aside from our “issues”, my mother does not have the word “no” in her vocabulary. By the time I got them back, my children would be absolutely feral, forget Veruca and Augustus, I’d have Lord of the Flies on my hands.

Although still a week later, I’m envying that delicious freedom you had in New York. Sigh.

And I’m also loathing the Star Trek toys – “a rescue attempt would be illogical”.

mrsbears last blog post..Summer Fun For The Wee Bear – FFF

#8 Posted by Casdok (31.05.09 at 11:18 )

Hope your deprogramming dosnt take to long!!
I am afraid i am guilty of spoiling my nephews and neices – but i do read the notes first before i disguard it!!

Casdoks last blog post..Do-Nut

#9 Posted by astarte (31.05.09 at 14:13 )

It IS hard to get back into the routine after being away, but it’s still SO worth it!!!

One summer, we had a Ken doll whose head popped off. We promptly began using it to 1) squirt water out of the head at each other and 2) pretend it was a headless monster to chase the Barbies around with. I highly recommend decapitation!

astartes last blog post..Friday Follies and Gossip

#10 Posted by Stonefox (31.05.09 at 20:06 )

Just one big sigh after reading this!

P.S. Thanks for adding the button! looks great 🙂

Stonefoxs last blog post..People Worship

#11 Posted by Patty (31.05.09 at 23:05 )

I can only imagine how hard it must be, in some ways, to be back. The small taste of freedom sounds like it would be bittersweet–wonderful, yet too fleeting. I feel like a bad mother because I often (like, sometimes everyday) long wistfully for my own apartment. And don’t tell my husband, but when I mean “my own apartment” I mean I am dreaming about living completely ALONE. I think it is normal to miss our freedom. It doesn’t mean we don’t love our kids. It just means we are normal adults who are making a pretty big sacrifice for our families. And yes, we chose to make that sacrifice, but it is still sometimes difficult. Worth it, thought. Totally.

Pattys last blog post..bad, bad news

#12 Posted by The Mother (03.06.09 at 21:38 )

Any toy that teaches your children about physics is an educational toy, no matter how inane.

The Mothers last blog post..Apples to Eyeballs