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These Are The Hands

These are the hands that were ready to eat dinner tonight just like this!

These are the hands that almost got the princess panties pulled down in time.  But didn’t.  And the “didn’t” ran all over the unsealed travertine tile in our recently renovated master bathroom.  And the two hands tried to rub in clean up the two types of “didn’t” with about $4.00 worth of “Kandoo” sensitive wipes before the queen was summoned.  So much for this sanctuary spa bath dream…

These are the hands that wrote a note to the rather proper single interior decorator friend of his mother thanking her for the opportunity to “learn more about roaches” in her home.  The mother of these hands did not bother to proofread the thank-you note before it was sent.

These are the hands that decided it made sense to bash a hard candy to bits (in order to prevent a small sister’s choking) yet chose the handle of a large kitchen knife for said bashing.  Miraculously, all fingers on these hands remain intact.

These are the hands that grasped a permanent green marker just quickly enough to make two largish green dots on a new Gymboree blouse.  (At least we wore it to preschool one time.)

These are the hands that will dig down in the greasy crevice behind a restaurant booth to excise a grimy penny with the same thrill as unearthing a Spanish doubloon.

These are my favorite hands in all the world.  I like them best when they are clean with trimmed fingernails.  But I’ll take ’em like this, too!

Except not in my kitchen.

Posted on 13 August '08 by , under Humor/Disconnected Miscellany.

11 Comments to “These Are The Hands”

#1 Posted by Peanut (14.08.08 at 08:08 )

Awwww… that’s funny and beautiful. You’ll probably want to frame that one when the kids move out!

So far I have only experienced the “almost” making it to the bathroom in time one. Looks like I have a lot of craziness ahead of me!

Peanuts last blog post..Conversations with KK: Get this off my finger!

#2 Posted by Patty O. (14.08.08 at 09:23 )

That’s GREAT! Though really, the hands could be worse. My kids have both been through phases where they found it fun to play with their poop. And when I say “play,” I mean smear it all over their bodies, dance in it so it is embedded in the carpet, etc.

Sometimes when the kids put their hands on my food or my face, it actually makes me cringe, because I just have to wonder where those hands have been today.

What did your friend think of the cockroach note? This cracked me up!

Patty O.s last blog post..I’ve been tagged

#3 Posted by Elizabeth Channel (14.08.08 at 10:48 )

I’m not sure the note amused her as much as it did me. I think she said something like, “He certainly is observant, isn’t he?”

(Not that you wouldn’t find bugs at my house.)

Elizabeth Channels last blog post..These Are The Hands

#4 Posted by Tara R (14.08.08 at 18:10 )

well said!

Tara Rs last blog post..That’s (Not Exactly) Amore book review and GIVEAWAY!!!

#5 Posted by MT (14.08.08 at 19:35 )

Aw – I agree with the commenter that said to save it and frame it or share it when they get older. This is one of those awesome posts that actually made me get weepy. Hormones!

MTs last blog post..A Boy and his Red Hat

#6 Posted by Heidi (14.08.08 at 21:15 )

Elizabeth, your kids take after you, is all I gotta say…they are hilarious!

It looks like we have to carry the humor things by ourselves. I’m thinking everyone checked out your site and got intimidated! I asked a few friends to post their links, but I think you scared them off! HA HA! That’s okay, yesterday you made me burn the girls’ vegies- i’ll tell you about it later.

And I DO want to hear all about your almost-to-China story. I have been wondering for days now…

Heidis last blog post..Powder Pants

#7 Posted by Rachel L (14.08.08 at 22:12 )

Oh my goodness — this had me ROLLING! (sorry about the bathroom, though).

Rachel Ls last blog post..Rachel Has Left The Blog

#8 Posted by mrsbear0309 (14.08.08 at 22:15 )

That was so beautifully said, clever and poignant without being sappy. Hope you get your dream spa bath sooner rather than later.

#9 Posted by danette (15.08.08 at 00:24 )

Great post, that’s hilarious!! The thank you note had me cracking up, totally sounds like something my boys would say :).

danettes last blog post..Not your grandma’s recipe

#10 Posted by Casdok (15.08.08 at 11:16 )

Super post!! 🙂

Casdoks last blog post..What matters..

#11 Posted by Stacey (15.08.08 at 11:19 )

Great post. I loved the bathroom story

Staceys last blog post..I’ve decided normal life begins again Monday

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