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Because Mondays are trying enough…

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A Good Mum makes life easier, with this handy mumber number!

1 Number of goals Edward got in his soccer scrimmage game tonight!

Me:  “So how was Cardinal Coach Kelly?”  I ask, since, after the day we had today, (I’ll post later), I needed to stay home with the other two and stare blankly at the ceiling.

Edward:  “She’s not literally a bird, Mom, she’s only figuratively a ‘cardinal coach.’  That’s something you need to understand, Mom.”

7 Number of times Swiffer and Mr. Mop were discussed, pontificated upon, queried about, etc., today alone.

Edward:  “Why does Mr. Mop always fail?  Why Mom?  Why does he have all these hairs stuck to him?  Why?  Let’s compare the two like the commercial!  Won’t that be fun?  Don’t you want to do that right now, Mom?  Let’s do it now, shall we?  I think that’s such a good idea, don’t you, Mom?  Go find the Mr. Mop you have, Mom, and I’ll find the Swiffer and we’ll do it right now!  It’s time to find out for ourselves what the truth is!  You go, please, go now, and get that Mr. Mop!  I’m looking forward to doing this, aren’t you?  Don’t you think it will be the greatest thing to see? I know it’s time to eat dinner but I believe this is more important, don’t you Mom?”

mop-compare

1 Number of Lhasa Apso pups I almost hit in the road today, scooped up from near-death, took home, allowed to tee-tee on my rug, found the owner for.  Of course there’s more but I’m still processing it all…

2 Number of Lean Shakes I drank today in my weight-loss yearnings.

5 Number of Bagel Bites I consumed, thereby canceling out the “lean-ness” of the shakes.

4 Number of consecutive days Edward has worn his Upward soccer uniform 24/7.  The reversible nature of the shirt is perfect for E.  Ketchup smear on the blue “cardinal” side?  Simply switch over to the gray “cardinal” image!  Your undershirt will soak up the remaining ketchup, keeping your chest clean and dry!

upward-forever

$14.96 Actual amount Edward charged to my cell phone in downloaded games.  (The bill came today.)  Tonight he promised it would be more in the $9.00 range soon since he has another tooth that’s ready to fly and that should earn him a “cool $5.00″ from “that Fairy.”  Sounds a bit like entitlement to me.  If I were Edward, I’d be concerned the “Fairy” might change her offerings in the wake of the economic downturn…

2,507 Number of gallons of old pool water our grocery-store-chain-owning, horse breeding “top neighbors” on the hill drained into our yard, leaving it a festering, mudboggy swamp, before realizing their pool pump line was broken.  I’m contemplating calling them tomorrow to see if one of their “yard men,”  (I did say men), can come and sop up some of the watery sludge my children are splashing about every time they try to walk Sophie, or trudge to the trampoline, or dig up grubs, or whatever else they do in the back yard.  I need these children to be in the back yard.  For long periods of time.  Perhaps my “top neighbor” can send her maid on down with a Swiffer or Mr. Mop to swab my floors?

top-neighbor-view

I know the view down into my yard from her pool deck isn’t the most inviting, but I’m fairly confident we could drag out even more Little Tikes toys and render it more tempting.  Her darlings are always clamoring to climb the fence into our yard.  Wouldn’t you?

Posted on 30 March '09 by , under Humor/Disconnected Miscellany.

14 Comments to “Because Mondays are trying enough…”

#1 Posted by JoyMama (31.03.09 at 07:07 )

Yes, mop-comparison is ALWAYS more important than dinner! Whatever were you thinking?! LOL!

Think Mr. Mop could regain his mojo by helping sop up the back yard, as well as helping with the footie-prints? I need my kids to be in our back yard too, but the snow only just melted and now it’s raining again. Sigh.

JoyMamas last blog post..Monday Mum…Mum… NUMBERS. Dangit.

#2 Posted by Andrea Cook (31.03.09 at 07:57 )

Love this! You are so patient. I could see how that ongoing discussion about the mop would be wearing! Looking forward to hearing more about the puppies…

Andrea Cooks last blog post..I want to get back to "Simple"

#3 Posted by Peanut (31.03.09 at 11:31 )

You ARE very patient. I’ve taken to telling KK to “STOP ASKING ME QUESTIONS!!!” a litle too often lately.

Mmmmm… bagel bites!

Wow, that’s a lot of water.

Peanuts last blog post..A hard week to write

#4 Posted by astarte (31.03.09 at 12:10 )

I can’t believe that they pumped all that water into your yard!!!! Holy sh**! That’s gonna take FOREVER to soak up, and plus, I bet if you’d done the same thing, their Lawyer Men would have been all OVER you for damages. Hmph. They owe you BIG TIME.

#5 Posted by Steph at the Red Clay Diaries (31.03.09 at 12:21 )

I think your top neighbor needs a visit from a Mr.Swiffer-and-Mr.Mop-wielding little boy.

“Won’t that be fun? Don’t you want to do that right now, Mom? Let’s do it now, shall we? I think that’s such a good idea, don’t you?”

Steph at the Red Clay Diariess last blog post..A Green Goddess, I am not

#6 Posted by kim (31.03.09 at 14:52 )

So why does the mop always fail? – HEHE
Love the reversible Soccer shirt – wish we had one of those instead we are always running around saying “where is the white shirt oh no we need the blue one – No it is the white one!”
UGH
Sorry about all the water – we have about that much in our back yard all the time – we will never live at the bottom of a slopping neighborhood again – SIGH!
Love ya
Kim

kims last blog post..A plea for help…

#7 Posted by ali (31.03.09 at 18:53 )

Yes! The mop always fails! Thank goodness he gets to grow up during the Swiffer phase!

#8 Posted by Danette (01.04.09 at 00:08 )

Too funny about the mop :). I’m going to have to join in for Monday Mumbers next week. I love the title, Cuddlebug used to say “mumbers” for numbers when he was younger. Bearhug called them “umbers.” he was not a fan of beginning consonants. :)

Danettes last blog post..If you’re blogging for autism awareness in April

#9 Posted by mrsbear (01.04.09 at 11:24 )

Edward is right, mop comparisons do sound fun!

Sorry about the muddy mess, it sounds like a mosquito breeding ground just waiting to happen. If you really want to entice the kiddies, maybe add some balloons and cupcakes to the backyard decor. 😉

Nice work rescuing the puppy, glad you found the owner, although I’m sure the kids would’ve been happy to add another member to the family.

mrsbears last blog post..The Cliffs of Insanity – Random Tuesday Thoughts

#10 Posted by the domestic fringe (01.04.09 at 22:10 )

This post cracked me up! Can’t wait to hear about all the stuff you’re still processing.

-FringeGirl

#11 Posted by Patty (01.04.09 at 22:16 )

Now whyever would you be annoyed with all that water in your yard? Don’t you like your kids playing in stagnant, muddy water? I would have the kids play in the water and then go to your neighbor’s house to clean up. Let her mop (or swiffer) up all that mud!

Pattys last blog post..why, oh, why did I ever listen to dr. phil?

#12 Posted by Elle (01.04.09 at 22:47 )

We live at the top of a hill so nobody’s pool is draining into our yard. You’re going to have to make your own Swiffer/Mop commercial. It could be pretty funny. Good job rescuing the puppy!

Elles last blog post..Why We’re Deathly Afraid of Rubber Bands

#13 Posted by Laura (02.04.09 at 21:08 )

oh see, you have it backwards: the lean shakes cancel out the carbs in the bagel bites….

Lauras last blog post..A Little Bit Autistic Against the Machine

#14 Posted by hellokittiemama/MT (03.04.09 at 08:06 )

THE CELL PHONE DOWNLOADS!

Alex did that on my old cell phone with games. He’d go in and download and download. I flipped out when one day it was $50 worth of things!! Thankfully on my phone if you canceled within a certain amount of days the charge never hits.

hellokittiemama/MTs last blog post..Gluten Free finds at Costco








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