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Edward In Ketosis

This breakfast plan is horrific…

Pop-tarts!  Pop-tarts have almost no nutritional value; yet they are almost always one of the options.  This is simply a sugar/white flour overload to a child used to “whole grains.”  Our teacher is allowing us to be the only child in the class who “opts out” of the mandatory program simply because at this point she will do anything that might encourage him to stay in his seat and stop asking questions!

I make a lovely two-egg omelette and he gulps it down every day before school with nothing more than spring water, Bright Spark and Focus Formula.

Sounds good, eh?  Free range eggs, organic butter, what could go wrong?

Wrong is when you force your 5-year-old into some sort of Atkins-like ketosis from too few carbs and he collapses in the hall of school.

His teacher called me frantically to let me know he had passed out.  (My mind raced in fear–were the eggs bad?)  Five minutes later,  “Oh, he’s fine now.  He’s eating chicken fingers with Nurse.”  Nurse? What century are we living in?

When I go to pick him up, he is reading the “Dangers of Smoking” poster aloud to “Nurse” while thoughtfully enjoying a Blowpop.  He pronounces “carcinogens” correctly, I note proudly.

Nurse gives me a funny look and asks an all-too familiar question:  “Has he always been like this?”

Like what, I wonder silently.  So clever, so prone to “falling out”, so hyperlexic, so active, so funny, so curly-headed, so inquisitive, so chicken finger-loving, so…wonderful?

“Yes ma’am, he has” I answer.  Because whatever she means, it’s probably true.

Now we have two weeks of glucose monitoring and a trip to a pediatric endocrinologist to thank for this diet change.  Thankfully, he has embraced the glucose monitoring and the daily visits to “Nurse” so she can check his blood.

And, he’s learned how to check his own, as well as every other family member’s blood, so we feel quite comfortable with his plans for a future as a crime-fighting endocrinologist.

Edward flops into the van: “Don’t look in my bookbag…just don’t look. I made a big mistake today!”

Protesting the fact that he did not receive the Pop-tart snack like everyone else, he apparently proceeded to do a few “pretend” Karate chops in the direction of the teacher’s leg.

This breakfast program is going to do us in…

Posted on 28 August '07 by , under Autism Spectrum/Sensory Processing, Humor/Disconnected Miscellany.