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The “Yard Butt” and Other Bizarre Observances

Strange things occur every day.  And so much of the time, I forget about them.  Lately, however, I have been texting them to myself in the van so I will not forget.

Here are a few.  Troubling Fungus?  Yard bottom?

OK, I’m just saying that if you found this growing in your back yard, would you not feel compelled to take a picture and write about it?  Would you not feel absolutely privileged?  Would you not seethe in anger, as your children did, when a red-headed neighbor beat on a cheek (with a wiffle ball bat) until it popped?

This leads me to recall a recent repartee with my mother-in-law.

The following is an actual transcript of a phone call I received from my mother-in-law (whom I love, by the way; none of those typical MIL issues here.)

“Oh, and you will need to be aware that Joseph was introduced to the word d**k at Space Camp this week.  He asked us what it meant but we told him his Dad would tell him all about it when he got home.”

Great!  That means he probably ran around the rest of the week using that word indiscriminately, and now (as if it wasn’t already), it is permanently seared into his brain and will pop out around the elderly and my parents.

Joseph returned home from Space Camp determined to drink “Moon Milk.”  It’s milk with black food coloring.  (Who has black food coloring?  We do.  Because we love cupcake artistry!)

It might also amuse you to know that when I first signed up for the Mom Blogger’s Club and Blogger, this cupcake snake picture was my blogging photograph.  (It’s a 6-year-old birthday party cupcake snake!  Yet still menacing!)  NOBODY WANTED TO BE MY FRIEND!  Except a few Dungeons and Dragons aficionados.  I was heartbroken.  Then I changed my picture and people were friendly!

Edward’s Sunday School teacher motioned us over after class this past Sunday with the usual tell-tale finger.  We’ve seen it before, and we’ll see it again.

“We were asking about Jesus and the men who helped him.  We asked if anyone knew what these helpers were called.  He answered, “‘Jesus and the 12 Distributors!'”

Sounds kind of like a band.

Long live Kim!



Posted on 12 August '08 by , under Humor/Disconnected Miscellany.

8 Comments to “The “Yard Butt” and Other Bizarre Observances”

#1 Posted by George (13.08.08 at 14:26 )

Instead of texting myself reminders, I use Jott.com. It’s a free service (at this point) that transcribes messages you leave and then emails them to you. It’s a speed dial on my phone. I usually get the email in about 5 minutes. Very handy.

#2 Posted by Elizabeth (13.08.08 at 16:36 )

Thank you, George! I’ve never heard of this. I’ll definitely be using it!

#3 Posted by Heidi (13.08.08 at 22:46 )

Elizabeth, you’re the riot! I’m glad we have you to journal the extraordinary things in our ordinary days. Keep it coming!!

Heidis last blog post..Powder Pants

#4 Posted by mrsbear0309 (13.08.08 at 23:07 )

Thanks for the giggles, as always. All I can say is, black food coloring? In milk? blech. The cupcake snake is awesome. Taken out of context though, I can see how those angry candycorn eyes might be a little intimidating. lol. Hope the homeschoolers are treating you well. 😉

mrsbear0309s last blog post..Reconnected

#5 Posted by MT (13.08.08 at 23:19 )

I want a yard butt!!!!

MTs last blog post..Tuesday Toot – Managed to not kill our kindergarten fish today

#6 Posted by Kim (13.08.08 at 23:26 )

That is hilarious
I love the yard fungus – we do not quite have anything like that but if we did Cole would be the one smashing it with a bat – LOL
I guess that leads me to my next blog post about a whole roll of toilet paper in the bathtub – hmm…
Love ya
Kim

Kims last blog post..Connor’s first day of 3rd Grade…

#7 Posted by acarlson (14.08.08 at 18:29 )

That is scary! I would take that picture to the extension agent. I think you have aliens living under your yard! :)

#8 Posted by Three Channels » Encouragement… (15.11.08 at 23:41 )

[…] I pick my boys up from their creative writing class and I do not have to hear about potentially “dicey” words either boy used in his story.  Also when I do not have to call the mothers of other children […]








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