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Archive for February, 2009

Why Kids Snort Sugar!

I got this idea from Kia and Mrs. Bear and a host of others who are doing these clever “Google search string” posts.

“Why Kids Snort Sugar!”

Apparently if you a concerned about such occurrences in your own home, you can consult Three Channels and we are burgeoning authority on this topic.  Edward has been known to dip an errant finger into the sugar bowl from time to time but I’ve never seen him line up actual crystals on a mirror.  Yet again, there’s always next week…

“Role of Gender in the Necklace”

My, this does make my blog sound erudite.  Judith Butler, you’d better run!  (I’m more the anti-Judith Butler in actuality.  Although, sadly, I did use her as a source during graduate school.)  Nothing like having children to convince you that gender is biological!  Gracious!

“Huswifery Attitude Towards God”

I’m not sure exactly what this means from a theological perspective.  Perhaps it is looking at varying attitudes of women in the Mary vs Martha sense?  I would have been a torn “Mary” but would have spent the next several months guilt-ridden that I didn’t help Martha prepare the food.  Then to assuage the guilt, I would have prepared countless mediocre chicken/wild rice casseroles and cleaning-fluid-smelling lemon bars for delivery to undeserving shut-ins…

“Huswifery Broken Down”

That would be my house, right?  My fear of casseroles, my disdain for casserole caddies, my distaste of mending baskets, my bitter charwoman allusions…

“Dwarf Hamster Crying”

I mean I feel almost bad, like I’m stealing this from Stimey.  I’d give a dwarf hamster 17 minutes of life in this house.  Particularly since the overactive puppy arrived on the scene!

“Infant on Omnicef Poop Doesn’t Smell”

My question would be, “Is it worth $100.00 to have baby poo that doesn’t smell for 10 days?” I guess if an ear infection is cured in the process, the answer is “Yes!”  I also wonder how anyone who actually has an infant would have time to Google something that isn’t an actual problem.

“Poems about School Crazys and the in thing in the 80s”

See, this reminds me of Facebook and all the reasons I live in deadly fearful of Facebook.  I know, I know, I should try it because I would love it.

Yard Butt

Most of you all missed this early blogging controvery but a few might recall my vacillation regarding using the word “butt” in the title of a post…how I switched the title back and forth from “butt” to “bottom” and how I wrestled with my own blogging identity through this trial.

That was kinda fun.  Thanks for indulging me!

Posted on 6 February '09 by , under Huswifery. 8 Comments.

Things I Have Learned in the Last 48 Hours

1. Spelling Bees are not a place to flex burgeoning acting desires.  Spellmasters are not entertained by a first grader who lavishly calls out to the crowd of 200 in a dramatic Shakespearean voice, “What is my word?”

2.  First graders who treat Spelling Bees like “stage shows” are quite displeased when disqualified from the bee for accidentally saying an errant letter before correctly spelling their word.  They might cry, flail and break down as they are wrested from the stage by their mother.  In front of 200 people.

3. I am not emotionally or physically capable of caring for three of my own children and a neighbor’s three children for 24 hours.  Particularly after a day of Spelling Bee trauma.

3.  Six children are capable of eating 10 eggs and an entire package of bread at one breakfast.

4. Some children are so sensitive to new medications that they may stay up for 28 hours straight the first day they take it. I have one of these children.  And he did this last night.

5.  I am incapable of functioning in any coherent way on four hours of sleep over a three-day period.

6.  I hate Spelling Bees.

7.  I know God tells us that He will not give us more than we can handle.  I believe Him, but I’m pressed, I tell you, quite pressed.

Posted on 4 February '09 by , under Humor/Disconnected Miscellany. 20 Comments.