Edward’s school counselor, Dr. Bunny, spends one hour per week with the kindergarteners teaching them about stranger danger, smoking and the like. Of course, he takes these lessons to heart and talks about these topics non-stop, which can sometimes be a little uncomfortable.
Tonight we decided to celebrate H’s 41st birthday with a trip to the local Mexican restaurant; after we ate, we were headed out the door when Edward saw a perfect opportunity to share Dr. Bunny’s knowledge. Several people had congregated to smoke, so he immediately bellows authoritatively, “Look at THAT lady smoking! I’ll bet her lungs are BLACK. And BROWN too! Now she is NOT a Safe Side Stranger.” “Safe Side Stranger not love me!” shrieks Sue, at which point we quickly duck into the Town & Country and head to Sam’s.
(What better way to celebrate turning 41 than a Friday night trip to Sam’s to shop for tampons and princess pull-ups?) I quickly shuffle over to the tampon aisle, trying to discreetly select something from the packs of 800 count tampons—who knows I may have reached menopause before I could use that many. I look up and see Joseph staring intently at the packages.
“What are those?” he asks, grinning. “They’re for ladies,” I answer evasively.
“Yes, I know they are those things where you go ‘thwack’ and pull it out.”
He then proceeds to demonstrate a woman doing such a thing but it looks more like someone trying to start a lawnmower.
“Yep, I think we’re done here,” I tell H quickly and we hurry everyone to the cereal aisle for distraction.