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Archive for 'Huswifery'

Why Kids Snort Sugar!

I got this idea from Kia and Mrs. Bear and a host of others who are doing these clever “Google search string” posts.

“Why Kids Snort Sugar!”

Apparently if you a concerned about such occurrences in your own home, you can consult Three Channels and we are burgeoning authority on this topic.  Edward has been known to dip an errant finger into the sugar bowl from time to time but I’ve never seen him line up actual crystals on a mirror.  Yet again, there’s always next week…

“Role of Gender in the Necklace”

My, this does make my blog sound erudite.  Judith Butler, you’d better run!  (I’m more the anti-Judith Butler in actuality.  Although, sadly, I did use her as a source during graduate school.)  Nothing like having children to convince you that gender is biological!  Gracious!

“Huswifery Attitude Towards God”

I’m not sure exactly what this means from a theological perspective.  Perhaps it is looking at varying attitudes of women in the Mary vs Martha sense?  I would have been a torn “Mary” but would have spent the next several months guilt-ridden that I didn’t help Martha prepare the food.  Then to assuage the guilt, I would have prepared countless mediocre chicken/wild rice casseroles and cleaning-fluid-smelling lemon bars for delivery to undeserving shut-ins…

“Huswifery Broken Down”

That would be my house, right?  My fear of casseroles, my disdain for casserole caddies, my distaste of mending baskets, my bitter charwoman allusions…

“Dwarf Hamster Crying”

I mean I feel almost bad, like I’m stealing this from Stimey.  I’d give a dwarf hamster 17 minutes of life in this house.  Particularly since the overactive puppy arrived on the scene!

“Infant on Omnicef Poop Doesn’t Smell”

My question would be, “Is it worth $100.00 to have baby poo that doesn’t smell for 10 days?” I guess if an ear infection is cured in the process, the answer is “Yes!”  I also wonder how anyone who actually has an infant would have time to Google something that isn’t an actual problem.

“Poems about School Crazys and the in thing in the 80s”

See, this reminds me of Facebook and all the reasons I live in deadly fearful of Facebook.  I know, I know, I should try it because I would love it.

Yard Butt

Most of you all missed this early blogging controvery but a few might recall my vacillation regarding using the word “butt” in the title of a post…how I switched the title back and forth from “butt” to “bottom” and how I wrestled with my own blogging identity through this trial.

That was kinda fun.  Thanks for indulging me!

Posted on 6 February '09 by , under Huswifery. 8 Comments.


By virtue of reading her blog, (which I highly recommend if you are not already a reader), I’ve been tagged by Carla.  I’m glad because it fits in with my self-imposed NaPloBoMo, and it’s quite fun!

Five Names You Go By:
1. Mama
2. Mom
3. Hey!
4. Elizabeth
5. Edward’s Mom

Three Things You’re Wearing Right Now:
1. Sweet Tart Drawstring PJ pants
2. Army Green socks
3. Red and white pinstriped robe


Two Things You Want Very Badly At The Moment:
1. Real cream for my coffee
2. Someone else to make up my bed

Three People Who Will Probably Fill This Out:
1. Kim at Connor Cole’s Mom
2. Tari
3. April

Two Things You Ate Today:
1. Bagel with cream cheese
2. Sugar in my coffee (does that count?)

Two People You Last Talked To On The Phone:
1. Amy
2. Ashley

Two Things You Are Going To Do Tomorrow:
1. Clean up puppy tee tee
2. Clean up puppy poo poo

Two Longest Car Rides:
1. Auburn, AL to Sedona, AZ
2. Huntsville, AL to Washington, DC

Two of Your Favourite Beverages:
1. Coffee
2. Sweet Tea

Two Phrases You Said Today To Your Kid That You Wish You Could Take Back
1. I don’t care of the eggs are cold.  Just eat them RIGHT NOW or you can’t have any toast!
2.  Your nighttime pull-up really smells.  Let’s get that thing off.

Posted on 19 January '09 by , under Humor/Disconnected Miscellany, Huswifery. 10 Comments.


First, I want to thank everyone for their encouragement of late.  I have definitely felt your prayers!  I never realized I would meet so many dear friends through writing, and I thank God for putting each of you in my path.

I am incredibly late with many of these awards, so please forgive me if it’s been several weeks, or in some cases months, since you lauded me.  There’s also a chance that you aren’t the actual person who gave me the award and I am just a hapless blogger being tossed about the blogosphere, rudderless, mudent, flashing awards willy-nilly and trampling fearlessly all over blogging etiquette.

I also fear that I may have lost some awards in my disorganization and attention-deprived state.  If I have, please remind me and I will rectify the error!

I sincerely appreciate being appreciated, and I look forward to passing these along to others.  If you have already received this award, please forgive me.  I just can’t keep up anymore!

Heidi (Stone Fox) from Mom’s Ministry & More, and Felicia from Go Graham Go! both lauded me with this beauty:

The qualifications to receive the award are:
A. Display a cheerful attitude.
B. Love one another.
C. Make mistakes.
D. Learn from others.
E. Be a positive contributor to the blog world.
F. Love life.
G. Love kids.

The Rules:

1. Must link it back to the creator.
2. Post the rules.
3. Choose 5 people to give it to.
4. Recipients must fill the characteristics above.
5. Create a post to share this.
6. You must thank the winner.

My five picks are:

Katie-bug Journey

Everyday Adventures

The Life and Times of Bendy Ruggles

The Power of Housewife Word of Mouth

The Red Clay Diaries

Sweet Jaden at The Life and Times of Bendy Ruggles encouraged me with this peaceful butterfly award.

Now, here are the *rules* that go along with this award:

1. Put the award up on your blog
2. Add a link to the person who awarded it to you
3. Nominate at least seven other blogs
4. Add links to these blogs on your blog
5. Leave a message for your nominee on their blog

And I pass this award along to:

Everyday Adventures

The Power of Housewife Word of Mouth

Me Time


Enchanted Dandelions

Crazy Jugs

Walking by Faith

Helene blessed me with this gem:

So, here are the rules for the Shiny Object (or “Brillante Weblog Premio” Award):

1. Place the logo on your blog.
2. Link to the person who awarded you.
3. You can nominate up to 5 blogs.
4. You can then add their links to your blog.
5. Leave a message in the comment section to each nominee on their blog.

And the winners are:

Great Stuff 4 Kids

The Domestic Fringe

Cool Mom Guide

The Girl in the Middle

Van Pan

Mrs. Bear bestowed these two lovelies on me sometime in the past, and I am just now getting around to acknowledging them.  I know she will forgive me though, because she always does!

On this cute bear action, I have no idea what the rules are but I am granting it to Katie-bug JourneyThe Red Clay DiariesWalking by Faith, Mom’s Ministry & More and  Three Peas in a Pod.  It’s quite a happy one!

This award does look impressive and cool…two things Mrs. Bear knows I strive to be.

This award in particular requires that I list six things that make me happy along with six other worthy bloggers that I’ll bestow this trinket to.

Six Happy Times:

1.  When H makes coffee the night before and we actually have real cream instead of Rice Dream, which, incidentally, tastes quite lousy in coffee and makes it turn a troubling gray color.

2.  When all my children sleep in their part of the house.  I don’t even care of they stay in their own beds…they can sleep on the floor, in the den, wherever, as long as they don’t wake me up!

3.  When I pick up Sue from preschool and they do not whisper to me quietly about how she had an accident in her pants…again.

4.  When I pick my boys up from their creative writing class and I do not have to hear about potentially “dicey” words either boy used in his story.  Also when I do not have to call the mothers of other children in the class to let them know that my children may have, inadvertently, introduced their sweet child to some risque language…all in the name of creative writing.  (There is such a thing as being too creative, I am starting to learn.)

5.  When, despite my disorganization and supposed (but not actual) apathy toward blog awards, my friends still bestow them upon me.

6.  When I hear the same scripture over and over again throughout a week, thereby being quite convinced that God is trying to get something through my thick, stubborn skull.  (This has happened a lot lately, for which I am quite excited!)

Go forth!

1.  Everyday Adventures

2.  Down-to-Earth Mama

3.  Good Enough Mama

4.  Ali the Lazy Dog

5.  The Girl in the Middle

6.  Good Fountain

Dannette at Everyday Adventures blessed me with this cutie:

Such calming, pastel colors–it made my day!

Here are the rules for this one:
*Mention the blog that gave it to you and comment on their blog to let them know you’ve posted your award.
*Publish these rules.
*Share 6 values that are important to you and 6 things you do not support.
*Grant the prize to 6 people.

Six Important Values/Beliefs:

1. Christian Values & Religious Freedom

2.  Accepting and embracing those on the Autism Spectrum

3.  Homeschooling

4.  Vaccine Choice

5.  Capitalism

6.  Israel

Nix Support For These Values/Beliefs:

1.  Anti-Homeschool Legislation

2.  Mandated Vaccinations

3.  Socialism

4.  Apathy

5.  Ignorance

6.  Hypocrisy

Consider yourself granted with a major award:

Good Enough Mama

Walking by Faith

Mom’s Ministry and More

Good Fountain

The Grass Widow’s Diary



I’m done!

Posted on 15 November '08 by , under "Did He Just Say ?", Faith is the Evidence, Humor/Disconnected Miscellany, Huswifery. 20 Comments.

Damned with Faint Praise

While hospitality is not particularly high on my list of spiritual gifts, and my friends are secretly thankful due to my woeful lack of kitchen creativity, I am a member of a little “suppah club,” as we call it down here, and this Friday night is my night.

(I was actually supposed to host this event at my home four months ago, but that was in the middle of removing/saving Edward from the computer magnet academy Kindergarten class, and I was far too stressed to prepare food for my own family, much less this supper club set.  Instead, I offered to bring several bottles of red wine to the only brown bag restaurant in this chain-restaurant obsessed town and everyone agreed unanimously that this was much safer and pleasant for all involved.)

I dodged that bullet only to come back on the rotation for July.  So H, being the kind, generous, supportive husband that he is, offered to go to Sam’s with Edward to procure the items I needed for this most basic sort of menu: Pork Tenderloin, Baked Potatoes, Garlic Green Beans and Banana Pudding.

This is sort of a pinnacle menu for me, and H has offered to grill the tenderloin and prepare the green beans, therefore leaving me unfettered to focus on the pudding and starch because, as he encourages, “You are so good with the baked potato.”

And if that’s not damning with faint praise, I don’t know what is.

(If all else fails, I do have a giant Cheez Whiz Spaghetti casserole sitting in my freezer. It’s been waiting in the wings for the next shut-in, and I relish the security of this preparedness like Pa would a smokehouse full of venison.  Note the Kinnickkinnick gf/cf bread in the upper left-hand corner–Edward’s favorite!)

Edward watches H carefully select the super packs of pork tenderloin.  He screws his face into his signature snarlish growl.  “Not PORK!  Have you forgotten about trichinosis?  How long are you going to cook it?  No one should eat this!”

Of course, he blathers on and on about foodborne illness and trichinella worms until H bribes him with Brewsters.  He quiets down with the promise of his favorite casein/color/artificial flavor-free lemon sorbet.

Fast forward to the Brewsters.  H and Edward are waiting in line.  A young man approaches the window carrying a largish zebra-striped purse that he is apparently planning to give to his girlfriend who works at the Brewsters.  Edward immediately bellows:

“Look at that hip hop man carrying that purse.  Now that is just wrong!”

Another father leans over to H, amused concern in his eyes, and kind of whispers: “Did he say ‘hip hop man’?”

“Yep…’fraid so.”

Posted on 24 July '08 by , under "Did He Just Say ?", GF/CF Diet/Food Reviews, Huswifery. 3 Comments.

Pretzels & Plastic

There’s really nothing all that profound going on today except I went to bite into a Rold Gold sourdough pretzel and saw this:

It’s some sort of translucent plastic rod that’s broken off from the pretzel factory equipment, I’m guessing.  This is such an awesome find I’m not sure what to do, but I’m terribly excited!  Do you think I’ll get free Rold Gold pretzels for life?  Here’s the bag:

Oh, and my house is so crumb-ridden that ants are, in Edward’s words, “feasting gloriously.”  He and Sue have spent the last 45 minutes finding more crumbs on the floor to feed to the ants.  It’s a good day here.

Posted on 22 July '08 by , under Humor/Disconnected Miscellany, Huswifery. 4 Comments.

“Casseroles, Shut-Ins and Feminism”

There’s not a lot out there on the “shut-in,” and sadly, people just don’t talk about them much anymore.  (They used to be an official heading in most church bulletins in the South.)  One thing is certain, however, the shut-in is desperate for casseroles—and lots of them.

In case you’re not Southern, Dictionary.com defines a “shut-in” as a “a person confined by infirmity or disease to the house, a hospital, etc.”

As a former graduate level feminist-theory student turned Christian homeschool mom, I have an interesting perspective on the casserole.  When I finally succumbed to marriage at 27, I was fresh out of grad school.

So it’s no mystery why I sobbed openly when my mother’s cousin presented me with a blue and white quilted “casserole caddy” (complete with a pink bow) during a wedding shower held in a church multi-purpose room.  At that point, I had never made a casserole, could not imagine myself doing such, and was convinced my life as a married woman would render me scrubbing grout lines and analyzing the benefits of Biz over Whisk.

It’s also not surprising that a few weeks after marrying, I began drinking a few too many Joseph’s Cherries (raspberry seltzer with grenadine and vodka) and trying my hand at huswifery.  The results were tragic:  Endless, crumbly, dry peach cobblers and an attempt at falafel that tasted like soap.  H renamed the dish “cho cho balls.”

Now, 13 years and three children later, I actually have a casserole argument.  H exhibits severe disdain for my casseroles; yet he exults that if I am providing a meal for a “shut-in” family, my own family goes without.  And that is true.  But truthfully my own family is glad–they will get takeout Mexican.  And the shut-ins’ are happy to see my casseroles coming!  They are shut in—they have no choice…no ability to go out and get some alternative.  And I’ll tell you they all ask for the recipes when it’s all said and done so what does that say about my casserole-popularity?

I have two offerings for the shut-in: “Wild Rice Chicken Casserole,” or a “Cheez Whiz Spaghetti Casserole.”

So my dear friend Ashley calls me yesterday to make sure I knew some friends had a motorcycle accident and were going to be “shut in” for a while.  She asks, “So which one are you doing, “the chicken” or “that Cheez Whiz thing?”

Am I that predictable?

“Yeah, it sucks to be a ‘shut-in’ in this town,”  H encourages.

Posted on 14 July '08 by , under Huswifery. 4 Comments.