Living Up to the Purse

When I look back over the past year, I begin to realize all at once what a difficult, challenging, exasperating, exhausting year it was, and yet also what a ridiculously funny, and amazingly blessed year it was, too.

I think one of my greatest lessons of 2008 will sound quite selfish to many of you, but in actuality I learned that I need to be a bit more selfish.  In homeschooling, bookselling, doing home OT/Floortime therapy with my middle child, cooking, cleaning, (well every once in a while), being a mommy, being a wife, trying to be a friend, attempting to blog, I got hopelessly lost in the fray.

I became lost in being 40…feeling old…feeling tired…and just plain old feeling like every day there was absolutely no way I could accomplish a third of what I needed to do.  Add to that my feeble attempt to do all this in my own strength instead of relying on God, and you have a recipe for depression and despondency.

So, I quit reading, I quit putting on makeup.  I wore the same sloggy black, van-ravaged, bleach-stained pants for days in a row.  A baseball cap became my grandest accessory.  I began to hold pity parties regularly, reheating thick morning coffee, (I didn’t deserve fresh), and using cheap powdered creamer.

(Ever notice how that powder floats on top of cold coffee…simply won’t mix in…wretched…)

All of a sudden I woke up and realized that I was nowhere in all this.  I was buried under piles of laundry and unfiled homeschool papers.  I was tormented by incomplete behavior checklists and unused recipes.  I was tortured by unreturned phone calls, unmade doctor’s appointments, delayed hair appointments, neglected feet, worn-out clothes and badly-crafted knock-off designer purses.

For some reason, the purses are what pushed me over the edge.  I actually have two grand blogging friends to thank for this sanity send-off.  Andrea at Crazy Jugs wrote so eloquently about her love of Coach and how she had nowhere to brandish her purses now that she had become a stay-at-home mom in a smallish town.  Then Kia at Good Enough Mama wrote poetically about her new Coach Christmas purse purchased by her darling husband.

I thought about these purses a lot.  I mean way too much.  I am not sure I can explain the relationship between the purses and my own self-concept but when H gave me a decent spot of cash for my recent birthday, I decided to spend it, for once, on myself.  I would not spend it on Christmas presents for other people, nor would I use it for groceries, prescriptions, sensible cotton panties or homeopathic attention aids.

I waited to shop until we visited H’s parents, since they live in a larger town known for fabulous after-Christmas sales.  When my mother-in-law announced she would be arising early on New Year’s Day to be the first in line for some 75% off 75% sale, I knew I needed to be with her.  (She truly is an inspiring shopping partner!)

I arrived at the planned store, entered immediately at 9:55 and headed straight for the designer handbag section.  Waiting there, alone on the shelf, yes waiting just for me was this beauty:

75% off  the admittedly excessive, extravagant regular price.  My pulse raced.  I grabbed for it.  A woman rushed up to me.  “Are there more?  Is that the only one?” she asked feverishly.  “Yes, it appears so,” I replied cooly.  She gasped at the reduced price and sulked away.  I clutched my find and beamed.

You know, God put that purse there just for me.  He did that, I believe, to delight me, to remind me that He is in the tiniest details of my life, and to remind me that I matter…even when what I am focusing on is superficial and esoteric.  Because on the outside, this purse might seem to scream “statement” and “unimportant fashion,” yet to me, after this year of trial, acknowledgment and acceptance, it speaks something quite different.

You may not get it.  But I do.  And that’s what matters at this point.

“Does it look like me?”  I asked H, somewhat fearfully.  “It looks like the fun, bold person you used to be,”  he encouraged with a smile.  “Nah…it does look like you,” he encouraged.

OK friends, I’ve laid it out there.

Help me live up to the purse!

Noctural Snakes Will Wait

–An Italian sonnet by a recently 7-year-old boy and his 8-year-old brother

I love the creek because snakes swim in it
The creek has many tadpoles that wander about
Snakes eat the tadpoles while the tadpoles shout
Many frogs croak while they watch the snakes sit
Alexander gives the frogs a get-well kit
Many hawks hover, watching frogs pout
Alexander worries frogs will shout
Snakes slither, watching Alexander spit
At the beginning of the night, frogs begin to sleep
Alexander feels curious and goes where snakes lay
He is bitten by a rat snake
Nocturnal snakes will wait for their keep
Alexander moans, “Yow, cow, thou, hey!”
He stumbles and calls for his brother, Blake.

Encouragement…

First, I want to thank everyone for their encouragement of late.  I have definitely felt your prayers!  I never realized I would meet so many dear friends through writing, and I thank God for putting each of you in my path.

I am incredibly late with many of these awards, so please forgive me if it’s been several weeks, or in some cases months, since you lauded me.  There’s also a chance that you aren’t the actual person who gave me the award and I am just a hapless blogger being tossed about the blogosphere, rudderless, mudent, flashing awards willy-nilly and trampling fearlessly all over blogging etiquette.

I also fear that I may have lost some awards in my disorganization and attention-deprived state.  If I have, please remind me and I will rectify the error!

I sincerely appreciate being appreciated, and I look forward to passing these along to others.  If you have already received this award, please forgive me.  I just can’t keep up anymore!

Heidi (Stone Fox) from Mom’s Ministry & More, and Felicia from Go Graham Go! both lauded me with this beauty:

The qualifications to receive the award are:
A. Display a cheerful attitude.
B. Love one another.
C. Make mistakes.
D. Learn from others.
E. Be a positive contributor to the blog world.
F. Love life.
G. Love kids.

The Rules:

1. Must link it back to the creator.
2. Post the rules.
3. Choose 5 people to give it to.
4. Recipients must fill the characteristics above.
5. Create a post to share this.
6. You must thank the winner.

My five picks are:

Katie-bug Journey

Everyday Adventures

The Life and Times of Bendy Ruggles

The Power of Housewife Word of Mouth

The Red Clay Diaries

Sweet Jaden at The Life and Times of Bendy Ruggles encouraged me with this peaceful butterfly award.

Now, here are the *rules* that go along with this award:

1. Put the award up on your blog
2. Add a link to the person who awarded it to you
3. Nominate at least seven other blogs
4. Add links to these blogs on your blog
5. Leave a message for your nominee on their blog

And I pass this award along to:

Everyday Adventures

The Power of Housewife Word of Mouth

Me Time

Down-to-Earth-Mama

Enchanted Dandelions

Crazy Jugs

Walking by Faith

Helene blessed me with this gem:

So, here are the rules for the Shiny Object (or “Brillante Weblog Premio” Award):

1. Place the logo on your blog.
2. Link to the person who awarded you.
3. You can nominate up to 5 blogs.
4. You can then add their links to your blog.
5. Leave a message in the comment section to each nominee on their blog.

And the winners are:

Great Stuff 4 Kids

The Domestic Fringe

Cool Mom Guide

The Girl in the Middle

Van Pan

Mrs. Bear bestowed these two lovelies on me sometime in the past, and I am just now getting around to acknowledging them.  I know she will forgive me though, because she always does!

On this cute bear action, I have no idea what the rules are but I am granting it to Katie-bug Journey,  The Red Clay Diaries,  Walking by Faith, Mom’s Ministry & More and  Three Peas in a Pod.  It’s quite a happy one!

This award does look impressive and cool…two things Mrs. Bear knows I strive to be.

This award in particular requires that I list six things that make me happy along with six other worthy bloggers that I’ll bestow this trinket to.

Six Happy Times:

1.  When H makes coffee the night before and we actually have real cream instead of Rice Dream, which, incidentally, tastes quite lousy in coffee and makes it turn a troubling gray color.

2.  When all my children sleep in their part of the house.  I don’t even care of they stay in their own beds…they can sleep on the floor, in the den, wherever, as long as they don’t wake me up!

3.  When I pick up Sue from preschool and they do not whisper to me quietly about how she had an accident in her pants…again.

4.  When I pick my boys up from their creative writing class and I do not have to hear about potentially “dicey” words either boy used in his story.  Also when I do not have to call the mothers of other children in the class to let them know that my children may have, inadvertently, introduced their sweet child to some risque language…all in the name of creative writing.  (There is such a thing as being too creative, I am starting to learn.)

5.  When, despite my disorganization and supposed (but not actual) apathy toward blog awards, my friends still bestow them upon me.

6.  When I hear the same scripture over and over again throughout a week, thereby being quite convinced that God is trying to get something through my thick, stubborn skull.  (This has happened a lot lately, for which I am quite excited!)

Go forth!

1.  Everyday Adventures

2.  Down-to-Earth Mama

3.  Good Enough Mama

4.  Ali the Lazy Dog

5.  The Girl in the Middle

6.  Good Fountain

Dannette at Everyday Adventures blessed me with this cutie:

You Are Not Defeated

I just read the most inspirational post from Lindy Lou at Healing Soul.  One of my favorite quotes follows:

If you are hurting, hopeless, sad, tired, dejected, worried, fearful or apathetic, consider popping on over to read this.  It will bless you!

GF/CF Product Review: So Delicious Coconut Milk Yogurt !

Turtle Mountain has introduced another winner into the Channel household: So Delicious Cultured Coconut Milk Yogurt with active and live cultures.

After Edward’s favorable review of Turtle Mountain’s Purely Decadent gluten-free/casein-free ice cream, the good people in their marketing department shared several more products with us!

While six flavors are available, here’s a breakdown of typical ingredients:

INGREDIENTS: WATER, COCONUT MILK, BLUEBERRIES, ORGANIC EVAPORATED CANE JUICE, PECTIN, CHICORY ROOT EXTRACT, DEXTROSE, NATURAL FLAVORS, ALGIN (KELP EXTRACT), MAGNESIUM PHOSPHATE, TRICALCIUM PHOSPHATE, RICE STARCH, LOCUST BEAN GUM, AGAR, CULTURE, CARRAGEENAN, GUAR GUM, DIPOTASSIUM PHOSPHATE, VITAMIN B12.

Live Active Cultures include: L. Bulgaricus, S. Thermophilus, L. Plantarum, L. Rhamnosus, L. Paracasei and Bif. Lactus

Edward grabbed raspberry first.  It had small chunks of berries and was quite creamy:

He ate it quickly and hungrily, proclaiming that it tasted just like “real yogurt that I haven’t had in a such a long, long time!”  He also enjoyed the blueberry flavor and deemed it his favorite.

Sue, who is three, and Joseph, age 8, also thought both fruit yogurts were fabulous.

The mango was not so well-received by Edward.  He described it as “slimy, sour and gross…like ‘rotty’ mango.”  I tasted it, and it was quite sour.  Missing also were the fruit chunks that the blueberry and raspberry included; the consistency was that of baby food bananas.

Sue, however, proclaimed the mango as her favorite and ate the entire carton!  She claimed it tasted like carrots (??)

Edward, ever the critic, also made a confused face when he read about the “plain” yogurt.

“Plain is not a flavor! I think I’m not going to like it!”

He was wrong, however; he thrilled to the plain, crying out, “Give me more, mom!”  He also enjoyed the vanilla, describing it as tasting like “vanilla cake and key lime pie!”

I’ll be requesting my local Publix add this to their offerings.  The Turtle Mountain web site even has a handy grocery request form you can give your local store.

Edward’s advice:  “They should keep making it!”

A Cluttered Nightstand

Thanks to Monica Brand who posted about this on Twitter, I’m taking the plunge and sharing my cluttered, disruptive nightstand for this discussion hosted by 5 Minutes for Books.

As anyone can see, I have far too many books on my nightstand.  It almost looks like my children have stacked them up this way.  (But I did it.  And yes, I’m sure it breaks all the decorating rules–you should see my house!)

Still the books themselves serve as a peek into my life right now.  And this doesn’t include the stack of homeschooling books on the other side of this desk!

I’m 7 months into the GF/CF diet for my 6-year-old thanks to Healing the Childhood Epidemics: Autism, ADHD, Asthma and Allergies by Kenneth Bock.  I highly recommend this book for anyone who wants to truly understand the research behind why this diet works, not only for children on the spectrum, but also for children with allergies, asthma and a few other issues.

I have been reading Different Minds: Gifted Children with AD/HD, Asperger Syndrome and Other Learning Deficits and A Parents Guide to Gifted Children for at least two years now.  They have both helped me tremendously in my attempt at understanding the complex brain of my twice-exceptional child.  I read them and re-read them all the time since they tend to be a tad involved.  I, unfortunately, do not have a particularly complex mind.

Speaking of minds, Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours, Transforming the Difficult Child and Raising Your Spirited Child are only a snapshot of the parenting books I have read over the years.  If you don’t think I have “spirited” children, you haven’t seen this:

(Wait til you see the Wordless Wednesday I have planned for tomorrow!)

Gilead has been a simple joy to read over the past few weeks.  I become so inspired reading Marilynne Robinson.  Her writing is refined poetry.  Reading her makes me want to edit and edit and edit.   (Now here’s a woman who could do a lot for Twitter!)  Plus her vocabulary is simply wonderful!  If I want to escape and relax, I reach for this gem!

Lead by the Perfume Stalker and her husband, my small group from church is reading Epic by John Eldredge.  Eldredge writes about life as a story we are thrust into the middle of with little to no explanation until we look to God.  This idea is precisely what led me to begin blogging in the first place.  Blog posts are fragments of my life story, or your life story.  I believe that by writing these fragments I will begin to find patterns in my own life which would direct me toward my part in the larger story God is writing.

And at the top of my teetering pile, always a reminder to breathe.

Yes, Breathe: Creating Space for God in a Hectic Life by Keri Wyatt Kent, has been my favorite in a rash of “simply your life” books I have read over the last year. I’m in no way remotely organized, but at least I am not taking two children to two different schools, homeschooling one and trying to run an online book business at the same time.

Baby steps.

Raw Potatoes & Victorian Puddings

Joseph hunches over his plate, a large baked potato clasped in both hands, getting ready to take a bite.  “What on earth are you doing?”  I asked.

“I’m just being like Oliver Twist…you know when he was so starving and grabbed that potato to eat.”

“Was it raw?”  asked Edward.

“Nobody eats raw potatoes!  They give you worms,” Joseph admonishes.

Now he is speaking in an affected Cockney accent—something he’s been doing since we let him watch the film version.

I’ve prepared what is, for my family, a complicated and important meal of roast, steamed carrots and baked potaoes.  (OK, H cooked the roast, but I did slice some organic apples for a side dish and I wrapped the potatoes in foil.)

“This dinner would have been a feast to Oliver when he was so poor and an orphan and all,” Joseph explains at the dinner table.  “But later when he gets to eat those huge meals with those tall puddings and big chickens and hams, this meal would have been sort of loser…”

I think he is starting to understand the concept of “middle class.”

$@#!& That Huckleberry Finn!

H bursts in the back door…interrupting my attempt at something called “Chicken Chassuer.”

“Look at this child…just look at him…I’m not really sure what to say.”  Edward stands in the back door, greenish black juice dripping down his cheeks, clutching a bunch of what looks like crab grass mixed with strands of an unknown ivy.

It looks like he has been eating weeds…from the back yard…yes that’s what it looks like…but who would do that? Especially someone who won’t allow a green vegetable to cross his lips.

(Is this something strange like that weird pica craving for clay and laundry starch some women have during pregnancy? Have we driven him over the edge with this GF/CF diet?) My mind races…

“Well, I didn’t swallow any. I just chewed it and spit it out.  That’s all,” Edward promised.

“Did you see this occurring? Did you actually see him do this and not tell him to stop? What were you thinking??” H asks Joseph, who is in an unusually calm state for someone being accused.

“Well, he was just being like Huckleberry Finn…you know when he was trying to quit smoking how he’d chew on that long weed thing?  I just thought that was what he was doing since we read the book and all…”

Yes. Well. Thanks.

Sleepin’ Like Slaves

I’m not so sure reading Huckleberry Finn was a good idea.  Granted we just read the Great Illustrated Classics version, but still now we are obsessed with slaves and slavery.

I don’t know why we have beds, or bedrooms for that matter, when we can all just pile onto the black wood futon H bought in 1989 and sleep there, “like slaves.”

You know, three children sleeping end-to-end under Spiderman fleece blankets…to heck with the Pottery Barn matching car set…who cares about the custom-made toile bed skirt and comforter with monogrammed pillows?

Give us a faded, blue-jean fabric covered futon from the late 80s and we’re happy as can be, sleepin’ like slaves!

Now I find myself saying things like, “Slaves didn’t have a light on when they slept…they didn’t talk…if I hear one more word, the youngest slave is going back to the Toddler Bed…slaves didn’t listen to Elvis CDs while they slept…” and similar comments like, “If I hear one more word, no one is sleeping like a slave tonight!”

Lemon-Eyed Great-Aunt June

We just introduced Joseph to the Hardy Boys.  His first read is While the Clock Ticked, and he started it tonight.  He just came in the kitchen where H and I were  dueling laptops trying to figure out this blog thing.

Joseph can’t sleep because, as he explains, “It’s in my head…it’s Great-Aunt June with gigantic lemon eyes…yellow eyes with black pupils that don’t blink…looking at those boys from the window…you know with her hair all wrapped up in toilet paper like she does.”

Yes, I’ve seen the woman shuffle down the hall looking like a soft-serve “shade” swathed in a jade brocade caftan.

(I’m always on the lookout for opportunities to rhyme, as well as to use the word “shade.”)

At least he is not too numb to notice that parts of the Hardy Boys are truly eery…